Stop being so angry…

My new job has given me lots to think about these past few weeks. In short, some people I've met have given me reason to spout off a little. I won't say exactly why, but after reading this, you'll probably understand:

If you have a child, if you watch a child, if you are around children at all on a regular basis, you need to hear this. I firmly believe that kids take every word we say and store it in their little memory banks until they can find a context where those phrases make sense. The ones they hear most often are the ones that start to mold their very existence and dictate the direction of their lives. So, that being said, I think that especially in cases where your main audience is a child or several children, if you don’t have anything good to say, then don’t say anything at all.

I’m not saying that discipline should not be applied when necessary. I’m saying that every interaction you have with a child should not be your opportunity to vent about the things in your life that make you unhappy. If you don’t like your job, that’s not a child’s fault. It’s yours. If you don’t like your spouse, that’s not your child’s fault. It’s yours. If your life isn’t working out according to plan or due to lack of plan, that is not a child’s fault. It’s, well, you guessed it…it’s your own fault.

When a child hears the same angry or negative messages over and over, they begin to attach those messages to their own character. There can’t possibly be any other reason why someone would be so negative towards me, so I must be bad. This is how the child processes your anger. This is not fair. If you find yourself continuously unhappy, you need to make some changes in the way you process things. And especially in the way you treat those around you.

Okay, I'm done. Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

Rona Gets the Creeps...

I've posted a new Rona Shively Short over at my website just for you! Check it out today!

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

Book Review: A great resource for writers...

If you haven't read the book, The Right to Write by Julia Cameron, you need to make time to do so. This book is motivational, inspirational and one of the most well-written writing guides I've picked up in years. Cameron walks you through the various scenarios related to what might hold you back in your writing and then offers valuable exercises to help you work through your blocks. It's not all about what blocks you, it's also about what makes writing so wonderful and how everyone has a writer inside of them. I was worried that it might be one of those books where the author talks down to other writers by telling them how they should be writing instead of why. As I got into the book, I found that it was exactly the opposite. Cameron reminds you of why you want to write in the first place by providing some highly entertaining prose to illustrate the points she makes.

I checked this one out from my local library, but I'm going to buy it for my collection as soon as possible. This is one I definitely want to have around for those days when I'm less than confident about my writing. Yes, I have those days. Although I'm not really supposed to say it out loud. According to Cameron, it's okay to have those days as long as you don't let them stop you from writing. Writers need to pick this book up as soon as possible, especially if you've been having trouble getting started or you're stalled on your latest project. It will help.

If I had a rating system in place, this book would receive all five stars!

Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

On the road again...

It's funny how the places you imagine are, in reality, so much like the place where you live. What I mean by this is that I had always envisioned the state of New York to be this big, urban expanse and I really hadn't thought that there would be parts of the state that looked so much like my hometown.

I recently visited the city of Waterville, NY to present one of my Tea & Mystery discussions at their public library. As usual, the presentation went well and I met some very nice people there. I was surprised that the scenery didn't actually change between where I live in Ohio and there. In fact, had I not missed my daughter so much, I wouldn't have even known I'd left town. Although the foliage is beautiful this time of year, after about three or four hundred miles of the same landscape, you start to wonder if you're actually moving forward. The drive did give me a chance to start working on my next Rona Shively novel. I got my first three chapters drafted on the way to Waterville.

I've always loved visiting new places and this road trip proved to be all too short. Since I recently started a new job, I wasn't able to stay as long as I would have liked to check out the rest of the area. Perhaps next time I'll have a couple of days to spare. Until then, I'll just have to look at my own trees.

If your library would like to have me come out and do a Tea & Mystery presentation, please contact me here. I'm still booking these events and would love to visit as many libraries across the United States as possible.

Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email