It's hard to maintain a positive attitude when it seems that people are just chomping at the bit to see how quickly you'll revert to your old ways. I'm by no means perfect, but it isn't likely that I have been on the deserving end of some of the criticism I've endured over the past few weeks. It got me to thinking, who is the best example of the worst person I've ever had to deal with on a regular basis?
Sadly, I've had no shortage of candidates lately. But if I had to pick one, it would be the person(who shall remain nameless for now)who most frequently approaches me as though I'm a twelve year-old child and attempts to make me feel inadequate because I am not a mind reader. She knows who she is and it really isn't necessary to throw her under the bus to make my point...though it would be quite satisfying. The point is that I've worked for and with many people who made it their life mission to point out what others aren't doing well enough to suit them. I've often wondered what it would take to make them focus less on what others are unable to do and more on what their own shortcomings might be. I've wondered, but no answers have ever materialized.
Rona Shively is trying to turn her life around. She's got big changes ahead in Book 5 and I hope you'll hang in there with her as she starts turning her life around. It's often easy to enjoy reading about the faults and misgivings of someone like Rona because it helps us remember that no matter how bad we are, there's always someone out there who is worse even if they are a fictional character. Rona has been my best worst example for several years now of what a single, self-sufficient woman can be if she gets too hung up on what she believes others think of her. With my own newly regained freedom and an attitude of gratitude, I'm hoping to bring her around to my way of thinking and empower her just a little as the series continues. I'll keep you posted as I get closer to finishing this next book.
Until next time...
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Thursday, December 9, 2010
My Best Worst Example...
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Rona Shively must die...
This isn't a joke. Everything you know about Rona is about to be changed forever. She's done what she can to stop it, God knows she fought it all the way. But the time has come. If you missed This Side Up, buy it now on Kindle so that you are ready for the latest installment in the Rona Shively series. Coming soon...Now You See Me: The Rona Shively Stories.
Until next time...
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Sunday, August 15, 2010
It really can't be over...
Summer, that is. Usually, I spend this time during my year to work on writing, promoting and generally winding down from what I do during the school year. Since I work in an elementary school, I have to fortunate privilege of being on vacation during the summer months. This year, the plan was to have been: finish writing Rona #5, work on revamping my websites, schedule more Tea & Mystery events, and fit in a few moments to get centered. Unfortunately, my summer consisted of the following: moving, going through some very stressful and emotional times, writing just enough to piss myself off, being frustrated, pissing a few others off, starting a new college program and being frustrated with my inability to concentrate, trying to redefine my life, and going back and forth to complete a leftover project that I had to do for work. Generally, I'm upbeat. I like a challenge and I really enjoy staying busy. This year, however; the challenges were not those which I would readily welcome into my life next year. In fact, if I never meet these particular challenges again, that will be just fine with me.
As I look at the next few months, I wonder how it will all work. I'm in classes online that require a great deal of attention. I will be returning to work full-time next Wednesday at a new school this year. My daughter goes back to school the following Wednesday. My divorce will likely be finalized within the next month. I only have about 200 more pages left to write on Rona #5 and the only Tea and Mystery I've been involved in over the past few months has been right here in my living room. Frustrating. Stagnant. Agonizing. The only thing left to do is this: hold a contest!
The winner will receive a complete set of Rona Shively books! In the Wash, Under Lock and Key, Keeping the Faith, and This Side Up! Here's what you have to do to enter: E-mail me your best guess at who is going to die in the next Rona Shively book. If you've read them, you'll know that there are at least five possible victims including Rona herself. I already know the answer of course, but let's see what you're thinking. Send me your guess and I'll pick from the entries to see who gets the prize! It's easy! I'll post the results of all of the guesses I receive on the blog for fun. Someone is going to die, but who will it be? Sleuth it out, people!
A contest is a great way to end the summer, so send your entry to me by August 31st for your chance to win! Until next time...
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Trick, Tramp, Skank or Slut?
Sorry to put it out there like that, but the topic of my discussion today is going to have to be about women who can't seem to figure this out. I've run into lots of men in my day. I've dated a few, loved a couple and even married one. I've never been able to understand why it is so easy for a man to stray from the woman he says he loves. It occurred to me that the fault is not entirely that of the man. Though I like to believe that each of us is responsible for our own actions, I have to admit that if there are women out there who are more than willing to offer themselves up as some kind of prize to a man who is teetering on the edge of commitment then they are just as responsible for the behavior as the man who engages in it. And well, those women need to be slapped.
I believe in lifting women up and helping them to achieve their higher potential, but if the woman is so determined to get what she wants that she has no boundaries or respect for what another woman already has, then she doesn't deserve to be lifted up. These women just don't seem to care. They look for any and every excuse to justify their behavior.
"Well, if he could be that easily persuaded, then he didn't love her anyway." No, if he could be that easily persuaded it just means he's a douchebag and that she will eventually need to get rid of him. It isn't your job to be a catalyst. Get your own.
"But he loves me and he's just staying with her because he doesn't know how to let her down." No, he doesn't love you, skank. He's just getting what he can get from you until you either move onto the next one or he finds another one of you to add to his lineup.
"She must not be doing her job as a 'wife, girlfriend, significant other' or he wouldn't be looking for something else." You know, sometimes men just look to be looking. She could be doing everything right even to the point that she's given up on her own dreams to keep his fulfilled (and that's usually the case). It is definitely not your place to determine what she may or may not be doing for him. He doesn't belong to you. You don't know the situation, you only know what he is telling you and I've got news for you, if he's cheating, he's also lying and he doesn't give a damn whether or not he tells you or anyone else the truth.
"She's let herself go, how can you expect him not to think I'm more attractive?" Beg pardon, trick. No. This is certainly not your call. If she has let herself go, it is probably because he has put her through hell and she's given up on trying to make herself look good because he didn't appreciate her when she did. Spend some more time with him and see how you look.
When I was single and out being stupid, I tried to be careful who I spent my time with. Sometimes a man is up front with his status and sometimes he tries to hide it. It used to burn me up to see the same married man out having dinner with his wife in the early evening and then see that same man hugged up with some tramp at the bar later that night. At the time, I didn't know how to approach it. I thought, "It's none of my business." Well, in a way, it should have been my business. I should have said something to them. I knew both of them, not well, but probably well enough to point out that what they were doing was absolutely messed up. It didn't really hit me until I got married that it would have been nice if I'd had the gumption to speak up. If more people publicly frowned on the behavior, then maybe it wouldn't happen so often. Wishful thinking, but you never know.
There might have been something to that whole scarlet letter thing. If all the tramps, skanks, and low-down dirty cheaters had to wear a big red letter on their clothing, wouldn't that be helpful to those of us who are trying to do things the right way? The bottom line is that if he isn't yours, don't look at him, don't touch him, don't think that he's just passing the time with his wife until you pop onto the scene ready to satisfy his every desire. No, he's not been waiting for you. If he was waiting for you, he'd have waited, ho. See, that's how it works. If someone is waiting on you, they wait. They don't just take an eleven-year detour and stop off to have a wife and kids while they await your arrival. Funny how that works.
So today's lesson for all the tricks, tramps, skanks and sluts out there is that we must first look for a wedding ring. Second, we ask the question, "Are you married or living with a steady girlfriend or otherwise engaged?" Third, we make the decision whether or not we want to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Fourth, we think better of ourselves and of other women than to try and settle down with someone who has already been pretending to be settled down with someone else. This is easy. Give it a shot.
Until next time.
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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse
