Cold Pizza and Coffee...

Sometimes, things just don't go together. Or maybe we just think they shouldn't because that's what someone else told us. Say for instance, a writing career and some other full-time endeavor such as being a mother or a wife. Now, don't get all huffy. Give me a moment to explain. It's often difficult to see where one role should end and the other should begin. And sometimes it's impossible to see them ever working together in perfect harmony. If we aren't careful, the two roles may find themselves at odds with one another and one or both may suffer. Unless, of course, we find ways to bring the two roles together into something that not only makes sense, but makes you feel like you've accomplished what you originally set out to achieve.

Years ago, I would never have imagined that I would be writing mysteries while also working at a "day job" and being a wife and mother. If you had asked me six years ago where I pictured myself in the year 2010, I would have said that I'd be working in some non-profit agency, fighting unfair changes in policy and being nearly completely miserable with my life while watching my life pass unsatisfyingly in front of my eyes. And you would have said, "Is unsatisfyingly even a word?" Yes, it's in my dictionary. The one I intend to publish later, but that's another story.

In any case, I would never have thought that I would be an elementary school librarian, a mystery writer and the mother of a five and a half year old daughter. These three things actually do go together in lots of ways, however; sometimes when I'm in the midst of it all, I can't see the connections very clearly. When I'm trying to think of all of the things I need to have finished for my students each day as well as the homework I'll be helping Mya with and the corrections I need to make to my manuscript, it all appears very incompatible. How in the hell can I ever get all of these things to work together?

This morning as I was looking around the kitchen, the answer to this question came to me as I filled my coffee cup and then remembered that there was some cold pizza in the refrigerator that I really wanted to eat for breakfast. Of course, many people wouldn't approve of my choice and some wouldn't think it made sense at all. But for me, it was what I wanted. It was what sounded like a great idea to me and it certainly wasn't going to hurt anyone. So what if I'm mixing breakfast with dinner? Who gives a big shit? Unorthodox? Well, sure. But I'm not hungry anymore and I'm wide awake. So, I achieved this morning's goal.

You're probably thinking, "That still doesn't make much sense." Well, okay. My point is this; what may not seem to make sense to others may be exactly what you need in your life. You are the only one who can make that call and you shouldn't worry about what others might think of your choices. Ultimately, you're the one who will suffer the heartburn and so if it doesn't work out well for you, you take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes our goals don't fit into what others may see as where we should be spending our time or expending our energies. To that, I say, "Too bad for them." If I want pizza with my coffee, that's my business. Let them eat eggs.


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Making a list and checking it a few thousand times...

I just watched the movie, The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It probably goes without saying that this is one of those movies that makes you sit back and think about life. The movie is about two men who meet while in the hospital receiving treatment for cancer. As time goes on, they become friends and ultimately decide to take the time to complete several tasks on a to do list, affectionately known as the "bucket list." This film is very moving and it will make you cry, so please, make sure you have the tissues nearby when you're watching.
Also, make sure you have a notebook nearby so that you can take a moment and write out your own "bucket list." It's a wonderful thing to do for yourself. It gave me some perspective because years ago I had started a wish list and the things I had wanted to do in my youth have changed significantly over time. I'm amazed at all of the things that I have actually been able to do over the years and grateful that I've had the good fortune to accomplish so many of my personal goals, no matter how small.
For shits and giggles, I decided that I would also try to make a list of things that I never want to do. I didn't come up with much, but here's the short list purely for your amusement:

1. Scuba diving...I hate deep water and I really don't think I could get the hang of the scuba gear.
2. Deep sea diving of any kind...I saw Jaws when I was three and it traumatized me so that I can't even think of putting myself in that perdicament.
3. Base Jumping, Sky Diving or otherwise flinging myself off of something very tall...I'm terrified of heights and of well, falling.
4. Eating squid...I really just can't imagine eating something so slimy and disgusting. That and I'm not a big lover of seafood.
5. Attending or otherwise being in the vicinity of a Clay Aiken, Taylor Hicks or David Cook concert...This really needs no further explanation.

This was pretty much all I could think of aside from a few unmentionables. I will say that if I were ever in a position where I had to swim in deep water or jump off of something to save my daughter from some impending doom, I would definitely have to set my fears aside and take the plunge...so to speak. But these are not things I would ever do on purpose. As for the Aiken, Hicks, and Cook concert thing, I can't ever see any reason why I would have to do anything remotely related to this for any reason.

All in good fun, but seriously, do take the time to make your list and go back to it often. You'd be surprised what you've been able to accomplish.

Until next time...

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A closing thought for the year...

Actually, it's probably more of an opening thought for 2008, but I wanted to share something I found. I've been reading Simple Secrets for Becoming Healthy, Wealthy & Wise by David Niven, Ph.D. It's a great little book that breaks down into daily thoughts based on scientific observations of various topics. For today's thought, December 31, the topic is, "There's No Deadline for Your Dreams." This is probably the most appropriate topic for me this year as I have struggled with making the transition into what I consider to be the latter half of my life.

In the passage from Niven's book, he says, "Live your life toward your dreams. No one will ask you what date it is when you get there." This was significant to me because I always felt like I had to be answering to someone at every turn. No matter what I accomplished, I felt like someone had to put their stamp of approval on the things I did in order for them to have been validated. Well, not anymore. I've made some very positive changes over the last few years and I'm happy to say that what I once thought might have been mistakes, turned out to be very difficult lessons. I was supposed to go through these things and had I not, I wouldn't have figured out some of the things I need to know to go forward. So, I've decided that my main resolution for this new year will be, "I will allow myself to pursue my goals wholeheartedly and without seeking anyone else's approval to do so."

As you think about the things you have wanted to do and what you still want to accomplish in your life, remember this piece of scientific information from Niven's book. He sites something interesting from one of his many sources. It goes like this, "People who feel they have reached their life dream are more likely to feel satisfied with their life, but the age at which they reached their dream is unrelated to their satisfaction." I'm pretty sure that can be applied universally, even though it's from a survey about men. The point is, don't worry so much about the timeline. Stay focused on the goal and the process and your enjoyment of getting there. It will be worth it!

Until next time...