It was recently announced that Rihanna has decided to go back to Chris Brown. All I can say is that this is not OK. If these two want to fade into the distance with their ridiculous behavior, that's fine but they shouldn't expect society at large to support their reconciliation. Ladies, it is never ok to go back to a man who has been abusive. I don't care what the situation is, a man who will beat you is no man at all.
If you want to read the full story, you can find it here.
Whether they know it or not, these two pop stars have had a huge impact on our youth and all they are doing now is teaching the kids who idolize them that it is okay to beat up on the one you love. They'll forgive you. This is what I like to call irresponsible bullshit. I hope that radio stations and other media outlets will not try to play up some stupid romantic angle on this story. That would be a real shame.
Until next time...
Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Rihanna has lost her damned mind...
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Media strikes again...
Once again, I'm disgusted by the media's lack of sensitivity. In the case of pop star, Rihanna, they have now gotten their hands on a picture of what she looked like after the alleged attack by her boyfriend, Chris Brown. It isn't bad enough that she has had to go through such an ordeal, now she has to see what should have been part of a confidential investigation flashed all over the television. It amazes me how the newscaster can talk about the picture as though the big new piece is that no one knows how it was leaked to the media. It doesn't matter how it got to them, the media should have the decency not to put that picture up for anyone to see. This part of things is definitely none of our damned business!!!!
At your lowest point, would you want everyone in the world to be privy to all of the information about your situation? I think that all newscasters should have their private business aired on a daily basis so that they understand the gravity of their actions. News to me is not seeing a picture of a brutalized young woman and hearing the gory details of her attack. News to me is telling me about the economy, about events that are taking place in my community, about the general crime rates (not the specific details of every single crime that takes place), about new programs or maybe even some of the good things that happen out there. News is not a contest for who can dig up the dirtiest, most disturbing details about anyone and everyone. When did our television journalists forget this?
Are you as disgusted by the media as I am? Tell me about it here!
Until next time...
Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Making sense...
I recently had an article published in Alive Magazine called "Empty." The article is about my struggles with multiple miscarriage and how I have coped with my losses. You can read the article here. I'm hoping that this article will be helpful to women who have had the same experience.
Until next time...
Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Truer Words Were Never Spoken
I recently came across a quote about time. It reads, "The myth that we must have "time"-more time in order to create is a myth that keeps us from using the time we do have."
I'm not sure who wrote this, but these words are definitely speaking to me these days. I've been in kind of a funk since I finished writing the third book in my mystery series. There have been a few days when I was inspired to write, but for the most part, I've been struggling with a bit of a block. This sucks because for one, I don't believe in writer's block. I believe that I am simply being stubborn and not allowing myself to do the one thing that I truly enjoy out of some kind of self-directed spite. It makes no sense that I would deprive myself in this way, but hey, that's the kind of gal I am.
In all of this, I have been claiming that time is the main reason why I haven't been sitting down to write. I say that I'm too busy or too tired because all of my time is spent working or thinking about work. This is most definitely a cop-out. In reality, I have never stopped having ideas for things I want to write, hence, I cannot cry "Writer's Block!" It simply isn't accurate. And the problem isn't a lack of time. I spend lots of time sitting at home, looking at my computer but doing little to nothing productive. So, in the spirit of having some spirit, I decided that I would take at least one day out of the week and go to my local library to write for a couple of hours. It sounded strange to my husband at first, I'm sure, but he hasn't complained yet so I'll keep at it.
Though it isn't like me to take time for myself in such a grandiose manner, I must admit, I kind of like having a few hours where I can concentrate on writing or finding good information about marketing without having to get up and check on my daughter or hear my husband's television shows in the background. This seems to be just what the doctor ordered. In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm at the library right now. And...I'm writing. Go figure. It wasn't writer's block at all. It was me-time deficiency. Lots of women suffer from this.
So, the next time you find that you're feeling a little less than motivated, think about finding a way to break free from your routine and give yourself some time alone. A change of venue, as it were. It might be just what you need to get your mojo back.
Until next time...
Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
No phone calls, please...
Ordinarily, I will not entertain phone calls from organizations looking to solicit. Whether they want me to buy something, donate something or just complete a survey; I generally tell them within the first five seconds that I don't want them to call me again. This happens just before I hang up on them. I don't like to be pestered with that stuff, especially night after night. I shit you not, in one night, I received three calls from various deputy's associations asking me to support their causes, one recorded message from John McCain(I have no idea how he got my number), and another call from some magazine wanting me to renew my subscription. Jesus, people, enough is enough.
On the rare occasion that I allow telemarketers to speak to me, I have been known to tell them that I don't have enough money to buy a gallon of gas, much less contribute to funding a cause I don't believe in. That's always a fun conversation. Tonight, however, I was feeling rather charitable. No pun intended. I received a call from an organization which I fully support, asking me to sign a petition regarding the availability of medication to end pregnancies. I've been struggling alot with this issue. As you may or may not know, I have had some difficulty maintaining pregnancies over the years. In fact, I'm coming up on what was to be the due date of our second daughter in just a few weeks and I've been having some trouble with it. It didn't seem like the best time for them to have approached me with this topic, but I stopped myself from snapping at the poor girl on the other end of the line because I realized that my personal feelings about this issue were also affected by another challenge I faced many years ago. When the girl asked me if I would allow them to e-mail me a petition to sign, I was surprised to hear myself saying, "Yes."
Torn between my feelings about not being able to have another child and having also been the victim of a sexual assault during my early twenties, I found that I had no choice but to say, "Send me the e-mail." I realized as I thought about her question that as difficult as it has been for me to have a child, I'm not sure I could have lived with becoming pregnant as the result of a rape. I was lucky. Although it has been over fifteen years, if I let myself think too much about what happened I still feel as victimized as if it were happening today. To put it mildly, it's a terrible thing to have gone through and I sympathize with any woman who has had to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy that was the result of such an attack.
I do not, however, look at terminating pregnancy as an issue to be taken lightly. I have strong opinions, due to my own struggles, about whether or not this is a good idea. It only makes sense that every woman would have her own opinions and concerns about the matter. Depending upon your experience with sex, pregnancy, relationships, children, etc., you're going to see this issue differently than the woman sitting next to you. The point is, you can't make this topic fit neatly into anyone's idea of what is right and wrong. That's why I let the girl speak and that's why I ultimately agreed that I would sign this petition. Any woman who has to make this choice, has enough to worry about. They certainly don't need me working against them on the basis of some standard of morality that I set for myself. That standard simply doesn't apply to anyone but me. It is my idea of what's right, of what I could live with.
This post is alot touchier than those I usually put up. After weeks of blogging about the election and our choices in candidates, I was a little worried that readers might think I was getting too mouthy or too politically involved. Well, sorry if that's your take. I simply believe that it is very important for women to talk about these issues and to take an active role in making the big decisions in their lives. While I enjoy blogging about my writing, I can't do that honestly without writing about these kinds of topics. They are the types of things that influence and motivate me to write. Without them, it wouldn't matter.
I still don't want to be called by solicitors during dinnertime and I definitely don't want to be pestered to death by recorded phone calls from political candidates. I do however, want to make decisions based on what is best for most people and what makes the most sense outside of what are basically my own personal preferences. I don't want to be part of a problem that stems mainly from people who are more concerned with protecting their egos than acting in the best interest of people in need. So, now you know. If I'm on your list of people to call, keep this in mind.
Until next time...
Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email
A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse
