What Now?

Sometimes, things change. I was in the middle of writing the Rona Shively series when I reconnected with God and suddenly realized that I just couldn't continue writing in the same way that I had been writing. You see, when I started writing this series I was angry. I was hurt and I had been holding back much of what I was dealing with. Granted, I love some of the stuff that made it into the first four books, but I am now being led by a power much greater than bitter inspiration. And in following God, I no longer wish to write about things which I feel are indicative of the very behaviors which grieve Him. I'm hoping that my readers will appreciate the transformation that I'm putting the Rona Shively character through and not feel as though I've gone crackers.

I'm still me; I just don't want to glorify the wrong things in my writing. I've come to accept that if this is a gift from God, then it should glorify Him and not the things of the world. It may or may not make sense, but this is what is happening in my life. As I looked back on the many experiences that I have had and tried to understand how they all led up to my writing these books I found myself somewhat ashamed of what I was writing. It became clear to me that if I'm going to write this series at all then I really need to change direction. And so, in the next book, Now You See Me, Rona's struggles with her own spirituality are a prominent feature. In much the same way that I struggled to come back to God, Rona finds herself fighting the urge to accept Him in her life.

Writing this book has taken quite a bit longer than I had anticipated, but I believe that the changes will be so worth the extra time. Now You See Me will hopefully make you think about your life in a whole new way and compel you to appreciate the relationships you have with the people in your life. We all experience loss in different ways and Rona Shively is no exception. I hope that as you read this book, you'll laugh a little, cry a lot and remember what makes life worth the struggles and the challenges. Stay with me. It's going to get good.

Now You See Me will be available soon!

Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by EmailAdd to: | Technorati | Digg | del.icio.us | Yahoo | BlinkList | Spurl | reddit | Furl |

Stop, you're both right...

Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions. 1 John 3:18 (NLT)

This week, I've seen a wonderful thing. I've witnessed a most uplifting outpouring of kindness as I watched people bring my sister and her son gifts, clothes and money to help them get through Christmas after having been burned out of their house by a fire on Monday night. It was touching to see so many people giving and giving to a person whom they didn't know, a person who could have been any number of things besides just another human being who was suffering. No one asked her if she was a Christian, or if she believes in God, or if she attends a church in town. People really just wanted to help. I believe that this is what God intends. He wants us to help one another and he doesn't want strings attached. It has always been my understanding that when you are trying to help someone, you are not focused on who they are or what they stand for. You are focused on helping them through whatever it is that they are going through and hoping that you have done all you can without making them feel obligated to do something in return.

So, it got me thinking. My sister was helped by a couple of churches and many, many, churchgoing folks. My sister does not currently go to church. In fact, she believes in some things that scare Christians. I also believe in some things that would scare Christians. But the bottom line is that we both believe in God and have faith that He is leading us on this journey and that whatever He wants to do in our lives is what we must accept and hold as right. We see God's beauty in all things and understand that there is not just one right way to connect with Him. In fact, I feel that to believe that there is only one right way to speak to God is somewhat shortsighted and I'll tell you why. There have been many times in my life when I know that God was right there with me. Many times when I couldn't have been further from being a good Christian woman. I'm still working on being a good Christian woman, but I can look back and see that he pulled me through things that I never should have come through as a sinner who refused, not just put off going, but REFUSED to go to church. I know that there was a time in my life when I was so angry with Him that I worried I would never find my way back to Him. And, if it hadn't been for a constant connection to him through meditation and through constantly looking for answers to the questions I had by exploring other religions and ways of worship, I would never have been able to set foot in a church again.

The point is that He was listening even though I wasn't in church. He was listening even when I wasn't sure if I was a Buddhist, a Wiccan, or a Baptist. He was listening and I'm still here, ready to do what I can to live His will for me.

As the pastor at one of the churches we attend now said at one of the sermons this month, you won't get to heaven by simply going to church. You won't get there by tithing, you won't get there by doing the things you think are what good Christians are supposed to do. At least, you won't get there by doing these things without having this one most important thing: love for God. If you don't love God, no matter what form He takes in your life, you cannot get to heaven. If you don't love God, you can't do His work. You can go through the motions, but you're really only doing these things for yourself and your own gratification. If He isn't at the heart of everything you are doing, then it isn't really for Him.

It's been so hard for me to focus on writing and promoting my books these days because I've been trying to fix my own slanted perceptions of just exactly who I'm doing all of this for. If it isn't for Him, then it isn't worth the time. Yes, it is fun to write and yes, I hope people enjoy what I write, but more than that, I really want to write things that bring people closer to Him. Going into 2010, I'm hoping my work will be worthy of what God wants me to put out there for you. If I'm quiet, you know I'm still working on it.

Here's hoping that you have a wonderful New Year's and that 2010 brings you closer to what matters most in your heart.


3~So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? 4~Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? Romans 2:3-4 (New International Version)



Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email


Add to: | Technorati | Digg | del.icio.us | Yahoo | BlinkList | Spurl | reddit | Furl |

Today's Question

I guess that would be, "What exactly is today's question?" Things seem so blah these days that I have little inspiration to write. I don't want to focus on the negative, so I've been keeping alot to myself these days. Other than the occasional MySpace survey, I haven't been sharing much. So, I guess I will take this opportunity to do a little sharing whether or not I really feel like it. In a couple of weeks, I'll be coming up on the anniversary of a nasty injury that kept me sidelined for much of September, October and part of November last year.

Last September, I had a heart cath done as a precautionary measure. I had been feeling alot of pain and was certain that I was going to have a heart attack. Thankfully, they found nothing to show that my fears were warranted. I left the hospital after several hours and came home feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. About twenty-four hours later, I started having pain in my leg. I told myself it was just some residual pain that would go away with time. As it turned out, the pain stayed and I went back to the hospital to have them check it out. They told me that it was nothing and even said, "Go home and take some Ibuprofen, you'll be fine."

I did as I was told. I came back home, I took the Ibuprofen, I laid down. About six hours later, I thought I was going to die. My leg felt like it was going to explode. It had swollen up to about three times its usual size and I was hurting. By the time I got to the hospital, I was in so much pain, I couldn't think. They ended up having to give me two units of blood and I was in the hospital for three days. I had bled out from the procedure and had lost about a third of my blood. All of which had settled in my poor, swollen leg. It took me about three months to be able to walk without pain. I still have some pain from time to time, but for the most part it is back to normal.

As I sit here today, I think about how lucky I am that things are actually back to normal and that I can sit comfortable at this computer and write this piece today. Although it may not seem relevant to whatever is happening in the world today, the experience really put some things into perspective for me. Aside from scaring the hell out of me, it made me realize that sometimes if you don't slow down, God will reach into your life and slow you down. I'm not an overly religious person, but I do believe in God. Had it not been for His intervention, I would never have made it through and had the appreciation I have for simply taking my time. So, as you flip through the channels today or page through the newspaper, try not to be too discouraged by what you see. Take some time to think about how you got here and what you want to do with your time and don't forget to take it easy when you need to. It will all still be here tomorrow.

Have a great day!