Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions. 1 John 3:18 (NLT)
This week, I've seen a wonderful thing. I've witnessed a most uplifting outpouring of kindness as I watched people bring my sister and her son gifts, clothes and money to help them get through Christmas after having been burned out of their house by a fire on Monday night. It was touching to see so many people giving and giving to a person whom they didn't know, a person who could have been any number of things besides just another human being who was suffering. No one asked her if she was a Christian, or if she believes in God, or if she attends a church in town. People really just wanted to help. I believe that this is what God intends. He wants us to help one another and he doesn't want strings attached. It has always been my understanding that when you are trying to help someone, you are not focused on who they are or what they stand for. You are focused on helping them through whatever it is that they are going through and hoping that you have done all you can without making them feel obligated to do something in return.
So, it got me thinking. My sister was helped by a couple of churches and many, many, churchgoing folks. My sister does not currently go to church. In fact, she believes in some things that scare Christians. I also believe in some things that would scare Christians. But the bottom line is that we both believe in God and have faith that He is leading us on this journey and that whatever He wants to do in our lives is what we must accept and hold as right. We see God's beauty in all things and understand that there is not just one right way to connect with Him. In fact, I feel that to believe that there is only one right way to speak to God is somewhat shortsighted and I'll tell you why. There have been many times in my life when I know that God was right there with me. Many times when I couldn't have been further from being a good Christian woman. I'm still working on being a good Christian woman, but I can look back and see that he pulled me through things that I never should have come through as a sinner who refused, not just put off going, but REFUSED to go to church. I know that there was a time in my life when I was so angry with Him that I worried I would never find my way back to Him. And, if it hadn't been for a constant connection to him through meditation and through constantly looking for answers to the questions I had by exploring other religions and ways of worship, I would never have been able to set foot in a church again.
The point is that He was listening even though I wasn't in church. He was listening even when I wasn't sure if I was a Buddhist, a Wiccan, or a Baptist. He was listening and I'm still here, ready to do what I can to live His will for me.
As the pastor at one of the churches we attend now said at one of the sermons this month, you won't get to heaven by simply going to church. You won't get there by tithing, you won't get there by doing the things you think are what good Christians are supposed to do. At least, you won't get there by doing these things without having this one most important thing: love for God. If you don't love God, no matter what form He takes in your life, you cannot get to heaven. If you don't love God, you can't do His work. You can go through the motions, but you're really only doing these things for yourself and your own gratification. If He isn't at the heart of everything you are doing, then it isn't really for Him.
It's been so hard for me to focus on writing and promoting my books these days because I've been trying to fix my own slanted perceptions of just exactly who I'm doing all of this for. If it isn't for Him, then it isn't worth the time. Yes, it is fun to write and yes, I hope people enjoy what I write, but more than that, I really want to write things that bring people closer to Him. Going into 2010, I'm hoping my work will be worthy of what God wants me to put out there for you. If I'm quiet, you know I'm still working on it.
Here's hoping that you have a wonderful New Year's and that 2010 brings you closer to what matters most in your heart.
3~So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? 4~Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? Romans 2:3-4 (New International Version)
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
Stop, you're both right...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What, no comment?
I've been on a bit of a hiatus, but figured that now was as good a time as any to post something. Over the past month or so, I've been trying to make some changes in my life. I've been trying to reconnect with God after an extended period of estrangement. It's been long overdue and I'm glad that I've finally taken some steps in the right direction. What does this mean to you? Well, probably not nearly what it means to me, but I wanted to take a moment to fill you in anyway.
Part of this journey involves curbing my natural bent toward profanity and being such a hater. Granted, this has been challenging. I've always had a way with words, especially the bad ones. And, I am sometimes quick to say something not so nice about someone whom I feel has issues. Whether I've been right or wrong in some of the things I've said, I feel that I probably could have said alot of it much more lovingly. Don't worry, though. I am not losing my edge. I'm just dulling it a little so that it won't cut quite so deep.
In a bizarre coincidence, just as I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler Rebecca Benston, I get a notification in my inbox this morning from Associate Content. A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about my former publisher, PublishAmerica. I was tired of hearing comments from people who wanted to bash the publisher and any writer who had found themselves under contract with them. I've received a few good comments over the years and today, I got one that really tested my ability to act in a Godly manner. Here is the comment:
Wow. Publish America a legit publisher? that's perhaps the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Publish America is a Vanity publisher that will put into print, any incoherent nonsense that happens to be written. it is for hacks who have some inflated self worth and believe that commercial publishers, who have rejected them, have done so unjustly. if you get published by PA, you aren't even a writer. you're just someone with a computer who managed to string a few sentences together. I could have a monkey tap dance across my keyboard for 2 hours and come up with something PA would publish. if you are so untalented that you have to use PA to publish, I'm embarrassed for you. Do your homework.
lisa miller
My poor tongue has permanent indentations from the biting it endured after reading this one. I was especially bothered by this woman's refusal to use a capital letter. Fortunately, though, my fingers were able to respond by sending her a nice response which I'll share with you here:
Ms. Miller, I'm not going to go into great detail to explain my position on this. I'll just say that PA was a great starting point for me and that it is not a vanity press. I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack writers who choose PA, perhaps you had a bad experience with them or maybe they actually rejected something you sent them. Whatever the case, I wish you well and hope that you can get a handle on whatever it is that has caused you to be so bitter. By the way, what do you write? I'm interested in checking out your work so that I can see how a real writer does it.
Note, I used no profanity and I think I was fairly tactful. Considering what I really wanted to say, this was actually quite remarkable. In any case, it never ceases to amaze me how some people can spend so much time in bitterness that they would actually take the time to spew such hatred at someone they have never met or had any kind of interaction with. I don't know this person. Or at least, the name doesn't ring a bell. I thought to myself, "Did I cut this woman off in traffic? Did I maybe date her husband in high school or something?" For all I know it's the Navin Johnson curse. She probably just picked my name out of the phone book or something and decided to attack.
The point is, a few months ago my response may have included a couple of choice words and I would have been angry. Today, I feel like I've said what I needed to say and now, I can go to church.
Happy Sunday, all!
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Sunday, October 18, 2009
Changes, Updates, and Alterations...
I'm working on some changes to the blog and hopefully, will have them finished by the end of October. I've been trying to figure out what direction I would like to take with my Rona Shively series and after lots of careful consideration, have come up with something I think will be great! If you haven't had a chance to get Keeping the Faith yet, by all means get over to my website and order your copy today. I have also completed the fourth book in the Rona Shively series and it is due out in February of 2010! I'll be posting more information about this book in a few weeks.
Stay tuned to Benston Blogs for more information about the newest books in the series as well as my other projects. And remember, Tea & Mystery is not just for libraries and book clubs, it's also a great way to spend a few hours with your mystery-loving friends. I'll be posting some new information about Tea & Mystery on my website later today, so be sure to check it out. If you'd like to book a Tea & Mystery event, please e-mail me here.
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
Cold Pizza and Coffee...
Sometimes, things just don't go together. Or maybe we just think they shouldn't because that's what someone else told us. Say for instance, a writing career and some other full-time endeavor such as being a mother or a wife. Now, don't get all huffy. Give me a moment to explain. It's often difficult to see where one role should end and the other should begin. And sometimes it's impossible to see them ever working together in perfect harmony. If we aren't careful, the two roles may find themselves at odds with one another and one or both may suffer. Unless, of course, we find ways to bring the two roles together into something that not only makes sense, but makes you feel like you've accomplished what you originally set out to achieve.
Years ago, I would never have imagined that I would be writing mysteries while also working at a "day job" and being a wife and mother. If you had asked me six years ago where I pictured myself in the year 2010, I would have said that I'd be working in some non-profit agency, fighting unfair changes in policy and being nearly completely miserable with my life while watching my life pass unsatisfyingly in front of my eyes. And you would have said, "Is unsatisfyingly even a word?" Yes, it's in my dictionary. The one I intend to publish later, but that's another story.
In any case, I would never have thought that I would be an elementary school librarian, a mystery writer and the mother of a five and a half year old daughter. These three things actually do go together in lots of ways, however; sometimes when I'm in the midst of it all, I can't see the connections very clearly. When I'm trying to think of all of the things I need to have finished for my students each day as well as the homework I'll be helping Mya with and the corrections I need to make to my manuscript, it all appears very incompatible. How in the hell can I ever get all of these things to work together?
This morning as I was looking around the kitchen, the answer to this question came to me as I filled my coffee cup and then remembered that there was some cold pizza in the refrigerator that I really wanted to eat for breakfast. Of course, many people wouldn't approve of my choice and some wouldn't think it made sense at all. But for me, it was what I wanted. It was what sounded like a great idea to me and it certainly wasn't going to hurt anyone. So what if I'm mixing breakfast with dinner? Who gives a big shit? Unorthodox? Well, sure. But I'm not hungry anymore and I'm wide awake. So, I achieved this morning's goal.
You're probably thinking, "That still doesn't make much sense." Well, okay. My point is this; what may not seem to make sense to others may be exactly what you need in your life. You are the only one who can make that call and you shouldn't worry about what others might think of your choices. Ultimately, you're the one who will suffer the heartburn and so if it doesn't work out well for you, you take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes our goals don't fit into what others may see as where we should be spending our time or expending our energies. To that, I say, "Too bad for them." If I want pizza with my coffee, that's my business. Let them eat eggs.
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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse
