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Saturday, February 13, 2010

Love Stinks, But Sadly I'm Used to the Smell...

Rona Shively has always been kind of a boob when it comes to relationships. She can't decide whether she wants something serious or she's content just having a fling here and there. It's not that she's a tramp, really. It's more that she hasn't taken the time to sit down and think about what it is that she wants in a partner. I had the fortunate experience of doing this back in 1999 when I took a class in college called Divorce and Remarriage.

It may seem a little strange that I would take this class since I had neither been married, divorced nor remarried at the time I took the class, but it really served as a wake-up call for me. Up to that point, no offense to the guys I've dated, I had really picked some losers. I'm not sure why I did it, but I seemed to gravitate towards men who had absolutely nothing to offer in the way of emotional stability, support and even romance. I recently pulled some of my old school papers from that class and found one of the assignments (along with years of therapy) that helped me get past my emotional stupidity. The assignment was to make a list of things that I was looking for in a man. The teachers, a married couple, called this a "Personal Vision of Love." Here are some of the things that made my list:

He will believe in the importance of self-exploration.
He will value family.
He will be willing to share his hopes and fears with me.
He will understand how my past experiences have shaped the person I am today.
He will have similar recreational interests to my own.
He will have his own spirituality.
He will be down-to-earth.
He will respect himself and me.
He will enjoy working.
He will evolve.

Nice list. I seemed to have all figured out at one point. The good news is that it was only a few months after I wrote these things when I met my husband and we started dating. One year later, we were married. Now, ten years later, I'm absolutely sure I was onto something when I wrote the list, but that's a discussion for another time. For now, let's focus on how this sort of list might help Rona.

If Rona Shively were to make a list of the things she wants in a man. What do you think she would include? Send me your thoughts and I will publish her list here in a few days. I'm interested in seeing your ideas on this one!

Don't forget to order your copy of This Side Up: The Rona Shively Stories at my website today! I'm running a special right now on Keeping the Faith and This Side Up. If you buy them together, you can get them both for $20! That includes shipping! Stop by my website today to order yours!

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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse

Where I've Been...

Listen to my interview on the Jeffery S. Miller show.

Listen to my interview on Calling All Authors.

Listen to my interview on the Let's Just Talk w/Kathryn Raaker.

Listen to my interview on Radio Free Baxter.

Where I'll Be...

After a short break in the summer, I'll be at the following locations:

8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.

Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!

E-mail me today at for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!

Books by Rebecca Benston

Reviews for Rebecca Benston

“You'll find yourself looking forward to more stories from the files of Rona Shively.”

Michelle Shealy, Reviewer for


“Rebecca Benston has written a detective with plenty of suspense…I hope there will be a sequel…”

Annick, Reviewer for Euro-Reviews


“The story is good, the plotting great. Rebecca Benston draws you into the story from the first page. Read the book.”

Lucille P. Robinson, An Alternative Read


“Rebecca Benston’s twists, turns, and descriptions are utterly engaging.”

Tracy, Fallen Angel Reviews


“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”

Janet Davies, Once Upon a Romance Reviews


“Under Lock and Key is an enjoyable, fun book! Rona Shively is a delightful character. I loved her off-beat, quirky personality and her outstanding sense of humor.”

Connie Harris,


“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”

Anne K. Edwards,