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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Does it really need to be this difficult?

Some days I fight with myself. Not in a psycho, Fight Club sort of way, but more like I just won't allow myself to enjoy my life. On those days I somehow dig deep and find more and more ways to justify being unhappy. It makes no sense to me. I have everything I need. I'm not overly concerned with money or wanting things I don't have. It's more of a philosophical struggle with my own well-being. Do I not deserve to be happy? If I do, why can't I convince myself that it's really okay to have a good day?

Over the course of my life, I have been known to have a penchant for self-defeating behavior. I am compelled to take the most difficult route to my destination. I like to think of it in terms of my not being afraid of a challenge, but truthfully, I think it's born more out of some sick, twisted fear of success. When I get really close to having a major breakthrough, I back off and simply stop doing whatever it is I'm doing right. I don't necessarily start doing anything wrong, though in some cases I have, but I just don't do anything that will advance me further.

For instance, I'm going through the beginning stages of a divorce right now. Having separated from my husband at the beginning of May, it's been a little difficult to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing with myself. We were together for eleven years and it's been quite difficult to retrain myself. I know that I don't want to regress and live the life I was living before marriage. Before I got married, I wasn't having any fun (though many would beg to differ) and I certainly didn't feel empowered. During marriage, I felt less empowered but I could always blame it on him or at least on being part of a couple. I had lots of ideas about all of the things I would do if I would ever find myself single again and had no one to answer to but myself. But, now that I have the freedom to do those things, I really don't want to. Hence, the fighting with myself. Even when there are no barriers, I tend to create them so it's hard to know what is holding me back.

Thankfully, I have alot of time to think about things now and when I'm ready, I'm sure I'll figure out what it is that I need to do with my time. I write, I pray, I spend time with my daughter. I worry, I pray, I make funny comments on Facebook, and every once in a while, I eat. Seems too long a title for a bestseller; Write, Pray, Parent, Worry, Pray, Be Sarcastic, Eat. But then, you never know what people will like. Especially if they're like me. ;)

Until next time...

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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse

Where I've Been...

Listen to my interview on the Jeffery S. Miller show.

Listen to my interview on Calling All Authors.

Listen to my interview on the Let's Just Talk w/Kathryn Raaker.

Listen to my interview on Radio Free Baxter.

Where I'll Be...

After a short break in the summer, I'll be at the following locations:

8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.

Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!

E-mail me today at for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!

Books by Rebecca Benston

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“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”

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“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”

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