Thanks for stopping by! This is the official blog for the Rona Shively Stories Mystery Series. Check in for details on upcoming Rona Shively Stories and other events! Watch Rona's transformation as she tackles life head on, now armed with newly found faith and the knowledge that she is not actually in control of anything. Finally, it is all starting to make sense.

Upcoming Events

***All Rona Shively books are now available on Kindle! See below for details!***Buy your copy of any Rona Shively Story and help someone today. All proceeds go to Higher Ground Ministries to empower women! Get your copy today at!***Help women reach Higher Ground!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Day Seven-A slight detour into the world of marital infidelity...

I was in the middle of trying to come up with more that I could write about the de-cluttering process when I stumbled across this little gem: An article on Life Script about why men cheat. Aside from being one of the reasons why I'm not doing so well attacking my de-cluttering project, stopping to read this little nugget really did alot to just piss me off. I decided, in my infinite wisdom to address the reasons listed by offering some additional information on each one. Please enjoy my analysis:

Why They Cheat

"The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating."~Okay, Mr. Buss, you must be out of your mind to think that this is a valid reason. Craving sexual variety is just a fancy way of saying that the man is a skank who can't be trusted to share his sexual needs and preferences with his wife. If he craves variety, then he should buy a book or something and ask his wife to help him act out some of those fantasies. There is no good reason for a man to ever stray from his wife for sexual gratification.

Buss goes on, with the virtual face-slapping, to say, "They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says. He justifies this statement by saying, "That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many women." Oh dear Lord, it's really a good thing I'm not anywhere near this man, lest I slap him in his eye.

Let's go on to some of the other excuses, shall we. They are doozies.

1. She ain’t what she used to be.

Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.~She's let herself go? What the hell? How many men out there do you see with beer bellies and thinning hair that do nothing more to improve themselves than to lay on the couch and watch documentaries about things they have no ambition towards, nor would they have the energy to attack should they find themselves standing upright. She's let herself go, indeed. She let herself go the minute she married you. She needs to let herself go...straight to a lawyer.

In his infinite wisdom, another author cited in this article offers several more excuses. "Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason why: boredom,” says Steve Santagati, author of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. “She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”~I have only one thing to say to this, "You loved her enough to marry her, wuss!"

3. She just doesn’t “get” me.
Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect.~Well, I do have to agree on this one...sometimes, they just can't be gotten. But how do you account for the fact that most of these cheaters have no problem telling their mistresses all about their troubles instead of confiding in the one woman who is supposed to be their best friend? How do you explain that one?

4. It’s the thrill.
Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. “It adds a level of danger,” Santagati says, “and danger adds to the excitement.”~Guys, you need to really get over yourselves. You are not, no matter how many times you have seen Octopussy, international spies. Please stick to living vicariously through the many James Bond movie marathons that are shown on television throughout the year. If you want a thrill, go ride a roller coaster, not some other woman.

5. Blame it on the “hunter.”
Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. It’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer – only this time, they’re hunting and gathering new women.~Are you kidding me? I don't see many men hanging photos of the women they've slept with on their walls the way they hang those ugly ass deer heads up there. Hunter-gatherer, my ass.

6. Biology, baby.
“It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible,” Santagati says.~Then it's in your nature to remain single.

7. It’s just sex.
For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things.~Yes, like laundry and clothing are two separate things. Are you stupid?

8. Not tonight, dear.
Let’s face it. Men want more sex than women.~If they had to put up with the same crap that their wives do, they wouldn't want sex, either. Since when did marriage equal a free pass to exciting, ever-available sex? Especially when you have children. Men who don't get sex when they want it act as though they're spoiled children who didn't get the toy they asked for at Christmastime. Grow up, please! Sometimes you don't get everything you want.

9. Because we can.
Ok, we’re guys, remember? It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.~Check, please!

Well, there you have it. The reasons why men cheat and why we should be mad as hell about them. Ladies, you have my sympathy.

Until next time...

Information for this stunning rebuttal post was taken from the article at, 9 Reasons Why Men Cheat: Is He Being Unfaithful to You?

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

De-Cluttering Project-Day Four...There's this and then there's that...

I'm noticing how difficult it is to try and do serious de-cluttering when you have a husband and a five year-old. Perhaps this is why the clutter started in the first place. I don't remember having so much crap when I was single. I'm noticing that there are two types of clutter in my home: Daily Use Clutter and Other Half Clutter.

Daily use clutter is the stuff that we use on a daily basis that seems to be in the way even after you've put it away. Whether this is because you know that you are going to have to haul it all back out again the next day and so you still see it there even when it isn't or because you simply leave it out so that you can get to it more easily. A perfect example of this is my laptop. I have tried putting it away every night, but found it to be a big hassle to keep getting it back out when I want to do my writing in the evenings. Yes, I could use my desktop computer, but I find it much easier to do the bulk of my work on the laptop. Or, my daughter's tablet and markers. She is always writing little notes or drawing pictures and she refuses to put the tablet away. Perhaps she is just imitating her Mommy. I have a hard time enforcing the "put it away" rule with her when I have trouble putting my own writing tools away each day.

Other Half clutter is not exactly what you might think. Yes, most of it is generated by my other half, my husband, Robert. Note, I didn't say better half. This type of clutter is the stuff that your husband gets out to use for a certain task but then doesn't quite get to the other task and so the items stay out until he makes it the rest of the way to the garage, kitchen, basement or wherever this project might be. The other half of getting the project finished is to actually do the thing so that you can put the stuff associated with the project away. For example, there is a bottle of Gorilla Glue staring at me from my bookshelf as we speak. Now, I know and you know that a bottle of Gorilla Glue does not, in any way, qualify as a book. So, why is it resting on my bookshelf? This is the question of the day.

So, now that I've determined that there are two different kinds of clutter in my house, how am I going to address them? For one, I'm going to go down to the library and get that book on how to organize your stuff. There's a really good one down there that I started reading before. I think that if I can just set up some kind of system for daily projects and once in a while stuff, I might be onto something. I will post the name of this book later, after I've gone and picked it up. I would post it now, but my mind is so cluttered with daily stuff and once in a while stuff that the name of the book has escaped me. That's a whole other category of clutter that I'll have to tackle later.

Keep watching the blog to see if I'm making any progress. Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

Sunday, June 21, 2009

De-cluttering: Day One=Procrastination

As promised, here are some photos and a few words about my progress on the big De-Cluttering project that should have started yesterday...note, I said "should have started."

It looks harmless enough, right? But this is just one piece of a mess that is much more daunting in real life than I could ever capture in pictures. This is why Day One of my De-Cluttering project was spent visiting my father in Kentucky instead of cleaning up and putting things away. I'll get to it, eventually.

It's not as though I haven't attempted to put everything in its place. I've spent lots of time over the years trying to develop a system that would keep all of my papers safely put away and all of my other writing paraphenalia out of everyone else's way when I wasn't using it all. Hence, the bins.

What I have never been able to get a handle on is the clutter that comes from everyday life. My daughter's bag for school, my bags (which are another project in and of themselves), mail, trash, all of the stuff piles up day after day unless you have a system for dealing with it. Granted, my daughter is no longer in pre-school and she won't need to have a bag lying about. I think I can probably tackle that issue without much trouble.

The biggest part of what I'm dealing with is a lack of space. Our house is only about 800 square feet and for three people and a huge amount of crap, that's just not enough. I think we do a fair job with what we have, but the object of this project is to be able to get through the day without feeling like I constantly have to pick something up and put it away. Right now, I'm simply putting off the inevitable until I can get motivated enough to really get into the project. I've got a couple of books that I need to read before I jump in and really start to "de-clutter." I'll be posting more as time permits (hopefully each day, but likely to be a few times during the week).

De-Cluttering/Organization/Goal-Setting Resources

When Organizing Isn't Enough by Julie Morgenstern-Using a program she calls, SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life. I'm currently reading this one and trying to pick out the pieces that will work for me. I'll share more on this later.

The Power of Less by Leo Babauta-A good book to start with if you're looking down the barrel of a project that seems too big to undertake. This book claims to help with breaking down goals into manageable tasks, creating new and productive habits, and focusing on only a few tasks at a time. I'm in desperate need of some guidance here and hoping that reading this book will help me figure out the best way to tackle some of the problem areas in the house and in my life.

Hang in there with me as I attempt to rid my life of chaos and clutter...this should be interesting.

Until next time...

Subscribe to Benston Blogs by Email

A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse

Where I've Been...

Listen to my interview on the Jeffery S. Miller show.

Listen to my interview on Calling All Authors.

Listen to my interview on the Let's Just Talk w/Kathryn Raaker.

Listen to my interview on Radio Free Baxter.

Where I'll Be...

After a short break in the summer, I'll be at the following locations:

8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.

Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!

E-mail me today at for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!

Books by Rebecca Benston

Reviews for Rebecca Benston

“You'll find yourself looking forward to more stories from the files of Rona Shively.”

Michelle Shealy, Reviewer for


“Rebecca Benston has written a detective with plenty of suspense…I hope there will be a sequel…”

Annick, Reviewer for Euro-Reviews


“The story is good, the plotting great. Rebecca Benston draws you into the story from the first page. Read the book.”

Lucille P. Robinson, An Alternative Read


“Rebecca Benston’s twists, turns, and descriptions are utterly engaging.”

Tracy, Fallen Angel Reviews


“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”

Janet Davies, Once Upon a Romance Reviews


“Under Lock and Key is an enjoyable, fun book! Rona Shively is a delightful character. I loved her off-beat, quirky personality and her outstanding sense of humor.”

Connie Harris,


“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”

Anne K. Edwards,