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Sunday, April 19, 2009

What do you say to that?

It seems that there are some people out there who just don't understand how to be tactful and appropriate and that they have decided to bring their ignorance to my table. Generally, I try to respond to morons as tactfully as possible and in some cases, I even ignore the stupidity. This time, however, I am going to take a moment to put it all out there and see where it goes.

For starters, I had a comment come across my blog the other day about the post I wrote on FOX news. When I read the comment, my first thought was that it was crass and inappropriate and that it probably could have been phrased differently, but since it showed a differing viewpoint I was willing to approve it. I responded somewhat jokingly and was prepared to let it go at that. Unfortunately, the other person decided that he or she (of course they posted anonymously) was not ready to let it drop. This, in turn, netted an angry response from another outspoken young lady who posted something else in my defense. At this point, I posted what I believe was a stern response to all of the nonsense and haven't heard more since.

The aim of the original comment was not to add value to the conversation, it was merely to shock the reader. I don't enjoy that. As a matter of fact, I believe it shows a lack of imagination and intelligence on the part of that commentor. If he or she (again, I have no idea which) had wanted to say something important, they would not have resorted to comments about my undergarments and so forth. They simply would have defended FOX news and left it at that.

In an unrelated incident, I was playing around on Facebook the other night and decided I would do one of those top five lists that everyone is doing on there. One of my friends posted her top five cookies and so, I decided to post my own list of favorites. Within a few minutes, I received a comment on my list. The comment went something like this, "Yes, you look like you enjoy all of them, all of the time." I thought to myself, "WTF? Did I say something to offend this guy?" The comment came from a person on my friends list whom I did not know very well. I won't say his name here because, unlike him, I'm at least a little classy. However, if you would like to know who it is, please let me know. We'll talk.

In any case, the comment completely blindsided me and for a while, I was feeling very bad about it. Of course, I immediately deleted both it and the friend from my list. No way am I going to allow someone the opportunity to insult me further once they have done something like this. The funny thing is that this guy was always posting motivational quotes and things that would lead you to believe he is a decent guy. I've never met him, spoken to him directly or anything like that, so I can't be sure if he was having a bad day or if cookies bring out the worst in him or what.

What bothered me most about the second incident is that he had no reason to say it other than just to be mean. Since he doesn't really know me, he doesn't know that my weight has been an issue for several years. You can't be pregnant every year for five years and not hold a little weight on your frame. After five miscarriages, your body tends to be a little uncooperative. Since I know that there are good reasons why I'm overweight and that it isn't simply a matter of sloth and gluttony, I generally have a thicker skin than this (no pun intended) if my weight is ever the topic of conversation. But I just could not understand what prompted such an attack from this person. Even if you're just having a bad day, the old adage, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," still holds true. There was simply no reason for him to be so vicious.

I realize that anyone can get online and that sometimes, we befriend those who are less than stable. Generally, we add friends to our Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace pages based on very little information and so, we are always at risk of being insulted or offended by our "friends." Does this mean we should stop friending people we don't know in real life? No, it just means that we should be aware that there may some crazy boob lurking about just waiting for an opportunity to call you names or be a big jerk to you. I generally like people until they give me a reason not to. After that, the gloves are off. So, as I said before, if you are on Facebook and you want to make sure you aren't the next target for this guy, please feel free to contact me and I'll let you know who he is.

Until next time...

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King Frost Creations said...

I've found that the faceless nature of the Internet brings out more and more of this type of verbal cruelty. Of course, Real Life can provide enough examples, but online often the target can't respond, or not respond appropriately enough to ugly, hateful remarks. I sent you a message on Twitter on this topic and here I am commenting again:) My rationale is that I've been a target of verbal abuse in various forms all my life, and so often, it comes with the tag line "but I was just joking" as if that makes it all okay!:( I'm on Twitter and Facebook and yes I would like to know the Facebook identity of this verbally vioious individual.

L.J. Sellers said...

I'm sorry you experienced that. What a jerk! Fortunately, there are many more positive experiences in social networking than negative ones. I'm glad you have the courage to keep putting yourself out there, despite the risk.

Rebecca Benston, Author, Speaker, Advocate said...

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate your insights.

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