I've been on a bit of a hiatus, but figured that now was as good a time as any to post something. Over the past month or so, I've been trying to make some changes in my life. I've been trying to reconnect with God after an extended period of estrangement. It's been long overdue and I'm glad that I've finally taken some steps in the right direction. What does this mean to you? Well, probably not nearly what it means to me, but I wanted to take a moment to fill you in anyway.
Part of this journey involves curbing my natural bent toward profanity and being such a hater. Granted, this has been challenging. I've always had a way with words, especially the bad ones. And, I am sometimes quick to say something not so nice about someone whom I feel has issues. Whether I've been right or wrong in some of the things I've said, I feel that I probably could have said alot of it much more lovingly. Don't worry, though. I am not losing my edge. I'm just dulling it a little so that it won't cut quite so deep.
In a bizarre coincidence, just as I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler Rebecca Benston, I get a notification in my inbox this morning from Associate Content. A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about my former publisher, PublishAmerica. I was tired of hearing comments from people who wanted to bash the publisher and any writer who had found themselves under contract with them. I've received a few good comments over the years and today, I got one that really tested my ability to act in a Godly manner. Here is the comment:
Wow. Publish America a legit publisher? that's perhaps the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Publish America is a Vanity publisher that will put into print, any incoherent nonsense that happens to be written. it is for hacks who have some inflated self worth and believe that commercial publishers, who have rejected them, have done so unjustly. if you get published by PA, you aren't even a writer. you're just someone with a computer who managed to string a few sentences together. I could have a monkey tap dance across my keyboard for 2 hours and come up with something PA would publish. if you are so untalented that you have to use PA to publish, I'm embarrassed for you. Do your homework.
lisa miller
My poor tongue has permanent indentations from the biting it endured after reading this one. I was especially bothered by this woman's refusal to use a capital letter. Fortunately, though, my fingers were able to respond by sending her a nice response which I'll share with you here:
Ms. Miller, I'm not going to go into great detail to explain my position on this. I'll just say that PA was a great starting point for me and that it is not a vanity press. I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack writers who choose PA, perhaps you had a bad experience with them or maybe they actually rejected something you sent them. Whatever the case, I wish you well and hope that you can get a handle on whatever it is that has caused you to be so bitter. By the way, what do you write? I'm interested in checking out your work so that I can see how a real writer does it.
Note, I used no profanity and I think I was fairly tactful. Considering what I really wanted to say, this was actually quite remarkable. In any case, it never ceases to amaze me how some people can spend so much time in bitterness that they would actually take the time to spew such hatred at someone they have never met or had any kind of interaction with. I don't know this person. Or at least, the name doesn't ring a bell. I thought to myself, "Did I cut this woman off in traffic? Did I maybe date her husband in high school or something?" For all I know it's the Navin Johnson curse. She probably just picked my name out of the phone book or something and decided to attack.
The point is, a few months ago my response may have included a couple of choice words and I would have been angry. Today, I feel like I've said what I needed to say and now, I can go to church.
Happy Sunday, all!
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Sunday, November 15, 2009
What, no comment?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
What do you say to that?
It seems that there are some people out there who just don't understand how to be tactful and appropriate and that they have decided to bring their ignorance to my table. Generally, I try to respond to morons as tactfully as possible and in some cases, I even ignore the stupidity. This time, however, I am going to take a moment to put it all out there and see where it goes.
For starters, I had a comment come across my blog the other day about the post I wrote on FOX news. When I read the comment, my first thought was that it was crass and inappropriate and that it probably could have been phrased differently, but since it showed a differing viewpoint I was willing to approve it. I responded somewhat jokingly and was prepared to let it go at that. Unfortunately, the other person decided that he or she (of course they posted anonymously) was not ready to let it drop. This, in turn, netted an angry response from another outspoken young lady who posted something else in my defense. At this point, I posted what I believe was a stern response to all of the nonsense and haven't heard more since.
The aim of the original comment was not to add value to the conversation, it was merely to shock the reader. I don't enjoy that. As a matter of fact, I believe it shows a lack of imagination and intelligence on the part of that commentor. If he or she (again, I have no idea which) had wanted to say something important, they would not have resorted to comments about my undergarments and so forth. They simply would have defended FOX news and left it at that.
In an unrelated incident, I was playing around on Facebook the other night and decided I would do one of those top five lists that everyone is doing on there. One of my friends posted her top five cookies and so, I decided to post my own list of favorites. Within a few minutes, I received a comment on my list. The comment went something like this, "Yes, you look like you enjoy all of them, all of the time." I thought to myself, "WTF? Did I say something to offend this guy?" The comment came from a person on my friends list whom I did not know very well. I won't say his name here because, unlike him, I'm at least a little classy. However, if you would like to know who it is, please let me know. We'll talk.
In any case, the comment completely blindsided me and for a while, I was feeling very bad about it. Of course, I immediately deleted both it and the friend from my list. No way am I going to allow someone the opportunity to insult me further once they have done something like this. The funny thing is that this guy was always posting motivational quotes and things that would lead you to believe he is a decent guy. I've never met him, spoken to him directly or anything like that, so I can't be sure if he was having a bad day or if cookies bring out the worst in him or what.
What bothered me most about the second incident is that he had no reason to say it other than just to be mean. Since he doesn't really know me, he doesn't know that my weight has been an issue for several years. You can't be pregnant every year for five years and not hold a little weight on your frame. After five miscarriages, your body tends to be a little uncooperative. Since I know that there are good reasons why I'm overweight and that it isn't simply a matter of sloth and gluttony, I generally have a thicker skin than this (no pun intended) if my weight is ever the topic of conversation. But I just could not understand what prompted such an attack from this person. Even if you're just having a bad day, the old adage, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," still holds true. There was simply no reason for him to be so vicious.
I realize that anyone can get online and that sometimes, we befriend those who are less than stable. Generally, we add friends to our Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace pages based on very little information and so, we are always at risk of being insulted or offended by our "friends." Does this mean we should stop friending people we don't know in real life? No, it just means that we should be aware that there may some crazy boob lurking about just waiting for an opportunity to call you names or be a big jerk to you. I generally like people until they give me a reason not to. After that, the gloves are off. So, as I said before, if you are on Facebook and you want to make sure you aren't the next target for this guy, please feel free to contact me and I'll let you know who he is.
Until next time...
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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse
