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Friday, July 2, 2010

No offense, but do men get this?

Unlike animals whose quest for happiness is restricted to survival and to the immediate gratification of sensory desires, we human beings have the capacity to experience happiness at a deeper level which, when achieved, can overwhelm unhappy experiences.

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I ask the question only because I've never seen evidence that they do. Women seem to always be trying to reach a level of happiness that is somehow deeper than what men are content with reaching. It's the whole, 'give 'em a beer and a steak and they'll be happy' mentality. You'll know by the grunting. It sounds terrible and somewhat prejudicial, but as a woman, I've noticed that the men I have known were never really interested in doing more than scratching the surface or simply scratching...when it came to happiness. They were okay with just being content. Perhaps this is why relationships are so difficult. Women are always trying to dig in deeper and men are always trying to hover near the surface.

Unless there is some Zen-like euphoria that comes over you when you are gutting a deer, I'm not sure that men care to get as happy as they can possibly be unless they are in bed. And I don't think that qualifies as a Higher Purpose even though some men would swear that they are performing on the level of a god here. How many retreats or workshops have you seen that focus on men's self-esteem? Is this because men have all of the self-esteem they need or is it because it simply isn't a priority for them to live their lives to the fullest?

I realize that women and men are different in many ways and that men have a whole other way of looking at life than we women do. I just don't understand how their value system works. Why is it so easy for a man to drop the kids off at school and simply walk away without a second thought? Why is it so easy for a man to cheat on his wife and then look her in the eye and swear that he didn't? Why is it so easy for a man to be content with living below their potential and allowing someone else to be the go-getter? Are there men out there for whom this is not true? Is it a regional phenomenon or possibly just specific to my little piece of the universe?

I'm truly curious. Other than a Buddhist monk, what man do you know that is truly seeking their highest potential? I'm not talking about the creative types who are chasing after celebrity. That's generally all about ego and hoping to gain groupies or some other bullshit like that. I'm talking honest-to-goodness, on-a-spiritual-quest, looking for fulfillment in this life, depth. If you know of men like this, please share it with us. And for God's sake, don't forget to include a photo and phone number. ;)

Until next time...

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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse

Where I've Been...

Listen to my interview on the Jeffery S. Miller show.

Listen to my interview on Calling All Authors.

Listen to my interview on the Let's Just Talk w/Kathryn Raaker.

Listen to my interview on Radio Free Baxter.

Where I'll Be...

After a short break in the summer, I'll be at the following locations:

8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.

Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!

E-mail me today at for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!

Books by Rebecca Benston

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“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”

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“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”

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