for reporting this morning that spankings actually make children more aggressive. I can't see how that's possible unless parents are just hitting their children without doing any other parenting whatsoever. Sure, if all you do is swat your kid and you never talk to them or explain rules or expectations to them, they might grow up hating you and not understanding why you are so mean. But if you are a parent who takes time to talk with your child about things and you find it necessary to spank them for bad behavior every once in a while, I don't see that having any negative ramifications. As a matter of fact, I think that's part of what kids are missing these days. They don't seem to be as weary of punishment as they used to be and I think it is because so many parents started listening to the findings of studies like these.
Ladies and gentlemen, just because a group gets together and researches something, that doesn't make them experts on the matter. It just means they know more about the issue than they did before the study. Parents who are actually trying to parent their children are the real experts on this issue. You know the right way to handle your child. You know when you are being unfair and when you might have taken your punishment of their behavior a bit too far. At least if you're like me, you feel guilty for yelling or losing your temper even when your child has been steadily stomping on your last frayed nerve for the past twelve hours and you've been as patient as patient can be.
My thought is this, we need to stop spending so much time and energy worrying that we shouldn't be asserting ourselves as parents for fear that they will hate us. Your children are going to hate you for one thing or another anyway if you're doing your job right. We need to spend less time justifying our lack of commitment to being the stern disciplinarians our children need and start finding ways to clean up our society. I have a few suggestions: Take those damned horror movie trailors off of the television that show terrible images to our children before we have a chance to turn the channel, take those horrible "booty" songs off the radio so that our five year-olds aren't singing about Apple Bottom jeans, and for God's sake can we drop all of the ads for male enhancement drugs and medication for depression? This shit doesn't need to be in our heads all of the time. If it bothers me, I know it confuses the hell out of my daughter. While I know that it is my responsibility to monitor what she's watching and hearing, they sneak some of these things by so quickly that you don't have a chance to shield your child from it.
I'm not saying that the fault lies entirely with the media or with television or radio, but they don't make things any better by not being responsible about what they put on the air. Just because they get a press release or they hear about some new fad, they automatically think it needs to go out into everyone's homes. I don't even think they screen this stuff anymore. News media makes their living by perpetuating our fears with reports like today's big spanking news. This is bullshit. Parents are already confused enough without FOX News laying a guilt trip on them.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable in wanting a news broadcast to report things that are actually useful to me. Telling me something that I know isn't true just isn't useful. It is downright enfuriating. My husband watches FOX News every morning and I've been trying to understand why. Perhaps he is oblivious to the crap they are throwing out and just needs background noise to accompany his morning coffee. I guess they're good for that.
Until next time...
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Sunday, March 22, 2009
FOX News needs a spanking...
Posted by
Rebecca Benston
at
8:32 AM
5
comments
Labels: children, FOX News, gripes, Media, parenting, responsibility, spanking
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Media strikes again...
Once again, I'm disgusted by the media's lack of sensitivity. In the case of pop star, Rihanna, they have now gotten their hands on a picture of what she looked like after the alleged attack by her boyfriend, Chris Brown. It isn't bad enough that she has had to go through such an ordeal, now she has to see what should have been part of a confidential investigation flashed all over the television. It amazes me how the newscaster can talk about the picture as though the big new piece is that no one knows how it was leaked to the media. It doesn't matter how it got to them, the media should have the decency not to put that picture up for anyone to see. This part of things is definitely none of our damned business!!!!
At your lowest point, would you want everyone in the world to be privy to all of the information about your situation? I think that all newscasters should have their private business aired on a daily basis so that they understand the gravity of their actions. News to me is not seeing a picture of a brutalized young woman and hearing the gory details of her attack. News to me is telling me about the economy, about events that are taking place in my community, about the general crime rates (not the specific details of every single crime that takes place), about new programs or maybe even some of the good things that happen out there. News is not a contest for who can dig up the dirtiest, most disturbing details about anyone and everyone. When did our television journalists forget this?
Are you as disgusted by the media as I am? Tell me about it here!
Until next time...
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Posted by
Rebecca Benston
at
7:08 AM
0
comments
Labels: abuse, insensitivity, irresponsible journalism, Media, rihanna, television media, women's issues
Monday, July 14, 2008
Don't call me grandma...at least for another twenty years...
As the mother of a four year-old girl, let me be the first to say that I do not support the growing movement toward creating younger grandmothers. What am I talking about? Well, I'm talking about the television shows, movies, and songs out there that glorify teens having sex. Previously, I've talked a little about the movie, Juno, but now I'm going to complain about this song called Teenage Love Affair by Alicia Keys. When I first heard this, it just didn't sit well. For one thing, Alicia Keys is no longer a teenager and if she's having this kind of affair, it's most likely illegal. For another, the lyrics:
Hey boy
You know I really like being with you right?
Just hanging out with you is fun
So maybe we can go to first base
Because I feel you
Second base
Want you to feel me too
Third base
Better pump the breaks
Well baby slow down
I gotta go home now
Well, let's just say that the lyrics caught me off guard. Could you be more suggestive without being Barry White? Perhaps I'm hypersensitive because I have a young daughter who is just now starting to ask questions about music lyrics, but that second base line really sounds bad to me.
During the school year, I substitute teach and I have noticed that kids have changed alot since when I was in school. They are listening to the popular music and trying to act out everything they hear. It's a little scary to think that there are eleven and twelve year olds out there who are anxiously awaiting their opportunity to have one of these encounters because this song is so popular. I know that there are all kinds of suggestive songs out there, but this one is targeted to a specific population. If it were just a "Love Affair," then it might be a given that they are not supposed to be doing this until they're older.
Granted, teenagers have been fooling around since long before this song was ever popular. I understand that. My concern is that we are getting more and more lax in our standards. It really isn't okay to encourage teens to have sex without at least adding in some information about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. Once they turn 18, they can do what they want but until then it is our responsibility to make sure they understand the consequences of all this seemingly romantic behavior. For example, maybe Ms. Keys could have added some additional verses to her song, something like:
Although I really want this
I can't help but worry
that I could end up pregnant
if we're in a hurry
Hope you brought protection
Because I don't know where else you've been
There's so many dangers to acting on this affection.
I don't even know where to begin.
Ok, so I never claimed to be a lyricist and that really sucks. The point is that without adding a little warning about the things that can happen when you start having sex, the song is just contributing to the delinquency of minors. I generally like Alicia Keys and have enjoyed her music over the years, however, I'm disappointed in this, her latest effort. It has a good beat, but those words just get in the way.
Years ago, I probably would have loved it. When I was a teenager, I thought it was cool to listen to songs like these and daydream about Prince Charming, but let's face it, he doesn't exist. Songs like these leave out the important stuff, like commitment, maturity, and responsibility. Not the most entertaining topics, but when your children are being influenced 100% by these songs, you want those themes to be included in there with all the other stuff. Your other alternative is to turn off the radio and television and blindfold your child and lock them away so that they don't do anything wrong before they're 21 or so. That's not too cool, though.
Until next time...
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Posted by
Rebecca Benston
at
9:17 AM
0
comments
Labels: maturity, Media, Music and Lyrics, parenting, responsibility, song lyrics, teen sex
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Viera Goes for Blood
I've been thinking alot about the recent media buzz surrounding the death of professional wrestler, Chris Benoit. Something about this just hits me wrong. For one thing, the interview I watched this morning between Meredith Viera and WWE Owner, Vince McMahon and I was really disgusted with Ms. Viera. She was dead set on attacking Mr. McMahon and I just don't think it was warranted. She obviously was coming from the mindset that a person is not actually responsible for their own behavior if they are somehow affiliated with a group of any kind. The fact that Benoit was a professional wrestler labeled him, in her mind, as a violent, steroid-eating monster who was inevitably capable of harming his family. She even went so far as to bring up other wrestlers who had died early in their careers and to try and grill Vince about the circumstances surrounding their deaths. What the hell?
This is exactly the kind of thing that turned me against pursuing a career in journalism. At one point in my life, I was in love with the idea of becoming a journalist. I thought it was great to be able to get the story out to people and that there was no career that I would enjoy more. Over the years, my fascination turned to disgust as I watched news programs scrambling to cover the sensational side of every issue that crossed their news desks. I became more and more disenchanted and finally decided that journalism was just not going to be right for me. Of course, there are still some who stay true to the principles of reporting the news in an unbiased manner, but it is getting harder and harder to find them.
Several months back, I wrote a piece on this issue on Associated Content. I had a relative who had been going through some particularly difficult times and ended up on the news after getting into trouble with the law. I was shocked at how they inflated the issue and how they were so insensitive to what was happening to the family at that point in time. They obviously didn't have the whole story, but it didn't matter. They only wanted the pieces that would gain the most viewers. Viera's interview was similar in that she wasn't interested in how Benoit's death had affected Mr. McMahon or Benoit's co-workers or even members of his family who are still trying to cope with the aftermath. She was so set on going for Vince's throat that she forgot to be unbiased. It was obvious that she was nowhere near neutral in her reporting of this incident. She used the interview with Mr. McMahon as an opportunity to show viewers that she isn't afraid to go for blood. She wanted to show that she can go after the story with the best of them, no matter what she puts her guest through.
Vince McMahon as I understand it, is no saint, but he's not Satan either. There was really no good reason for the attack and I felt bad for him. The situation with Benoit should not be used as a platform for berating wrestlers. He was his own person with his own demons and all of that is really none of my business. As a fan of wrestling and even of Benoit, I'm disturbed by what happened, but I certainly don't see the point in blaming the individuals he worked for and with when they are obviously mourning the loss as members of his "extended" family. What is the point of this? I am certain that there was a side of this story that should have been presented, but will never see the light of day. How else can we be sure to perpetuate the b.s. that we have to look at on the news every day? We most certainly shouldn't expect that they would attempt to use discretion or even employ a little empathy under these circumstances. That wouldn't get ratings.
Posted by
Rebecca Benston
at
9:11 AM
1 comments
Labels: Benoit, interviews, Media, Meredith Viera, Murders, News, reporter, Vince McMahan, wrestling
Where I've Been...
Where I'll Be...
8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.
Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!
E-mail me today at lonestoryteller@yahoo.com for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!
Books by Rebecca Benston
Reviews for Rebecca Benston
Michelle Shealy, Reviewer for MyShelf.com
***
“Rebecca Benston has written a detective with plenty of suspense…I hope there will be a sequel…”
Annick, Reviewer for Euro-Reviews
***
“The story is good, the plotting great. Rebecca Benston draws you into the story from the first page. Read the book.”
Lucille P. Robinson, An Alternative Read
***
“Rebecca Benston’s twists, turns, and descriptions are utterly engaging.”
Tracy, Fallen Angel Reviews
***
“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”
Janet Davies, Once Upon a Romance Reviews
***
“Under Lock and Key is an enjoyable, fun book! Rona Shively is a delightful character. I loved her off-beat, quirky personality and her outstanding sense of humor.”
Connie Harris, MyShelf.com
***
“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”
Anne K. Edwards, Mysteryfiction.net









