FOX News needs a spanking...

for reporting this morning that spankings actually make children more aggressive. I can't see how that's possible unless parents are just hitting their children without doing any other parenting whatsoever. Sure, if all you do is swat your kid and you never talk to them or explain rules or expectations to them, they might grow up hating you and not understanding why you are so mean. But if you are a parent who takes time to talk with your child about things and you find it necessary to spank them for bad behavior every once in a while, I don't see that having any negative ramifications. As a matter of fact, I think that's part of what kids are missing these days. They don't seem to be as weary of punishment as they used to be and I think it is because so many parents started listening to the findings of studies like these.

Ladies and gentlemen, just because a group gets together and researches something, that doesn't make them experts on the matter. It just means they know more about the issue than they did before the study. Parents who are actually trying to parent their children are the real experts on this issue. You know the right way to handle your child. You know when you are being unfair and when you might have taken your punishment of their behavior a bit too far. At least if you're like me, you feel guilty for yelling or losing your temper even when your child has been steadily stomping on your last frayed nerve for the past twelve hours and you've been as patient as patient can be.

My thought is this, we need to stop spending so much time and energy worrying that we shouldn't be asserting ourselves as parents for fear that they will hate us. Your children are going to hate you for one thing or another anyway if you're doing your job right. We need to spend less time justifying our lack of commitment to being the stern disciplinarians our children need and start finding ways to clean up our society. I have a few suggestions: Take those damned horror movie trailors off of the television that show terrible images to our children before we have a chance to turn the channel, take those horrible "booty" songs off the radio so that our five year-olds aren't singing about Apple Bottom jeans, and for God's sake can we drop all of the ads for male enhancement drugs and medication for depression? This shit doesn't need to be in our heads all of the time. If it bothers me, I know it confuses the hell out of my daughter. While I know that it is my responsibility to monitor what she's watching and hearing, they sneak some of these things by so quickly that you don't have a chance to shield your child from it.

I'm not saying that the fault lies entirely with the media or with television or radio, but they don't make things any better by not being responsible about what they put on the air. Just because they get a press release or they hear about some new fad, they automatically think it needs to go out into everyone's homes. I don't even think they screen this stuff anymore. News media makes their living by perpetuating our fears with reports like today's big spanking news. This is bullshit. Parents are already confused enough without FOX News laying a guilt trip on them.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable in wanting a news broadcast to report things that are actually useful to me. Telling me something that I know isn't true just isn't useful. It is downright enfuriating. My husband watches FOX News every morning and I've been trying to understand why. Perhaps he is oblivious to the crap they are throwing out and just needs background noise to accompany his morning coffee. I guess they're good for that.

Until next time...


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Don't call me grandma...at least for another twenty years...

As the mother of a four year-old girl, let me be the first to say that I do not support the growing movement toward creating younger grandmothers. What am I talking about? Well, I'm talking about the television shows, movies, and songs out there that glorify teens having sex. Previously, I've talked a little about the movie, Juno, but now I'm going to complain about this song called Teenage Love Affair by Alicia Keys. When I first heard this, it just didn't sit well. For one thing, Alicia Keys is no longer a teenager and if she's having this kind of affair, it's most likely illegal. For another, the lyrics:

Hey boy
You know I really like being with you right?
Just hanging out with you is fun

So maybe we can go to first base
Because I feel you
Second base
Want you to feel me too
Third base
Better pump the breaks
Well baby slow down
I gotta go home now

Well, let's just say that the lyrics caught me off guard. Could you be more suggestive without being Barry White? Perhaps I'm hypersensitive because I have a young daughter who is just now starting to ask questions about music lyrics, but that second base line really sounds bad to me.

During the school year, I substitute teach and I have noticed that kids have changed alot since when I was in school. They are listening to the popular music and trying to act out everything they hear. It's a little scary to think that there are eleven and twelve year olds out there who are anxiously awaiting their opportunity to have one of these encounters because this song is so popular. I know that there are all kinds of suggestive songs out there, but this one is targeted to a specific population. If it were just a "Love Affair," then it might be a given that they are not supposed to be doing this until they're older.

Granted, teenagers have been fooling around since long before this song was ever popular. I understand that. My concern is that we are getting more and more lax in our standards. It really isn't okay to encourage teens to have sex without at least adding in some information about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. Once they turn 18, they can do what they want but until then it is our responsibility to make sure they understand the consequences of all this seemingly romantic behavior. For example, maybe Ms. Keys could have added some additional verses to her song, something like:

Although I really want this
I can't help but worry
that I could end up pregnant
if we're in a hurry

Hope you brought protection
Because I don't know where else you've been
There's so many dangers to acting on this affection.
I don't even know where to begin.


Ok, so I never claimed to be a lyricist and that really sucks. The point is that without adding a little warning about the things that can happen when you start having sex, the song is just contributing to the delinquency of minors. I generally like Alicia Keys and have enjoyed her music over the years, however, I'm disappointed in this, her latest effort. It has a good beat, but those words just get in the way.

Years ago, I probably would have loved it. When I was a teenager, I thought it was cool to listen to songs like these and daydream about Prince Charming, but let's face it, he doesn't exist. Songs like these leave out the important stuff, like commitment, maturity, and responsibility. Not the most entertaining topics, but when your children are being influenced 100% by these songs, you want those themes to be included in there with all the other stuff. Your other alternative is to turn off the radio and television and blindfold your child and lock them away so that they don't do anything wrong before they're 21 or so. That's not too cool, though.

Until next time...

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Passing the buck...

I am reposting this for a friend. I agree, parents are responsible for teaching their children how to act and that's the bottom line. We cannot continue to put the blame on the media, on the internet, on anything other than what we show our children through our own actions. One of the best things we can teach them is to take responsibility for their own actions. Stop blaming your bad behavior on movies, television, computer programs, etc. This is a huge problem and until people start looking at their issues with an eye towards resolving them instead of passing the buck, the problems will always be there.

Thanks,
Rebecca



STOP BLAMING MYSPACE!!

Anybody happen to catch Nightline the other night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. ! I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "innocent young girls" who just happen to have tramped up profiles and ages 4 years greater than their own.

On Nightline, there was a story of a 12 year old girl who was a drug-addict and attributed it all to MySpace. She claims that Myspace allowed her to easily find drug dealers in her area, as well as older men to have sex with her. Now, at the age of 14, she has been checked into a drug-rehabilitation clinic and has been away from her family for 5 months. Her parents would rather place the blame squarely on the shoulders of MySpace instead of their daughter, who even admitted that at the age of 12, had already tried weed, crack, X, and had slept with numerous guys older than herself...but of course, it wasn't her fault, it was all because of MySpace.

Once again, COME ON! When are parents and children going to stop passing the blame and grow up enough to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children.. Parents: monitor your children online, take some responsibility for YOUR children! Children: if a profile name sounds like something that comes out of a cheap horror movie, like "DARK ANGEL OF DEATH WHO EATS THE BRAINS OF GIRLS"...chances are you DO NOT WANT TO ADD THEM AS
A FRIEND. Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States. All because little girls want to act like sluts and don't want to accept the consequences of their actions, and parents don't want to accept the fact that
their "innocent little girls" are posing as 18 year old crack whores trying to buy drugs.

A 14 year old girl and her mother have filed a law suit against Myspace.com because she was sexually assaulted by another user. She said he lied by saying he was on the high School football team, and THAT gained her trust. Obvisiously if thats all it took to gain her trust, chances are she'll pretty much
trust anybody and anyone (not really MySpace's fault). She's suing Myspace.com for $30 million because she believes MySpace has poor security. WHAT A CROCK! Myspace is not a babysitting service, take responsiblity for your own actions!!! What happened to her is a terrible thing and should never happen to anyone, period. Where were her parents? Why are they not held responsible for what their daughter does in their own home? Myspace has many many ways of blocking out/screening people, some are: you have to ACCEPT the person you may or may not know as a friend, as well as DENY people you do or do not know, you can have certain sercurity measures added like making your profile private, or asking for last name and email address, you can block a person, you can only associate with people you ALREADY know or simply you can NOT be on MySpace if you lack common sense.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer".
I don't know about you, but I use MySpace to keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space that is my own. Just because some children want to act grown up, does that mean I may have to eventually give up my MySpace? If you feel the same way I do, please, repost this in your blogs or bulletins, or both as "STOP BLAMING MYSPACE". If enough people post this and spread the word, maybe people will get the picture and stop blaming MySpace for every little thing that their children do wrong. As a user of MySpace, we should all repost this and take some sort of action. This is not a chain letter, and nothing will happen to you if you don't repost this in 321654987 seconds. However, of all bulletins you will read today, I am sure that this one is the only one that actually has a point to it.

Pass this on if you support Tom, and Myspace.com. It's about time adults take responsibility for their own children, instead of blaming it on someone else.