Waiting for a towel to dry...

It's amazing how many things go through your mind when you are waiting for your laundry to be done. I'm sitting here at the computer while the dryer is finally finishing a load of towels. Over the course of the last fifteen minutes or so, I've thought of at least fifteen different things I need to get done today. Aside from doing laundry, I need to take some library books back, clean up my house, go to the grocery store, get clothes ready for tomorrow morning, pay some bills, balance my checkbook, write the rest of a short story I'm working on, work on my website, pay attention to my daughter, exercise, visit my mother, and God knows what else... One of the things on my list was to write something here, so I guess I can cross that one off the list. The point is, no matter what I get done in a day, the heads keep growing back. Granted, I create some things for myself to do so that I can continue to feel like my life has a purpose. But there are other forces at work that create the rest.

How much of what we do is generated solely from our need to stay busy? How much of that need to stay busy or productive comes from simply being a female? I think women fall into this cycle much of the time because we are expected to keep things going. To make things "comfortable" for the people in our lives. Even if we have a really great husband or boyfriend who actually cooks or cleans, there is a degree of guilt attached whenever we don't do the little things. I am by no means domestically inclined, yet I still feel the nagging sense that I need to prove my worth in this area. Look how good I am at keeping house, folding clothes, washing dishes, etc. Even though I hate housework and feel that it isn't extremely important in the grand scheme of things, I still feel inadequate when I don't do enough of it. This is some bullshit that is hardwired from years of listening to a grandmother who felt that "a woman's place was in the home."

I guess it was this kind of coaching that ultimately led me to become a feminist. I wasn't sure that I was one before, but over the last several years, it has become clear that I believe in the power of women to achieve nearly anything. I believe that women should work together to make this world a better place and that we should use our strengths to help make other women stronger. So, as I sit here, waiting for my laundry to dry, I think about all of the things that I can do to make a positive impact on the world today. What can I do while waiting for my towels to dry? It's hard to say for sure, but I hope that blogs such as this one are a step in the right direction. I found this quote over at www.feminist.com and thought it would work nicely here:

"In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: either she's a feminist or a masochist."
—Gloria Steinem

Now we just have to ask ourselves, which one will I be today?

Until next time...

Third time's a charm

At least that's what I'm hoping. I'm about a third of the way through writing the third installment in the Rona Shively series. That's alot of three's. It is not without some amusement that I recognize now how my birth number "3" and my date of birth, 8/3, and my daughter's age (3) and so on and so forth all tie into this weird vibe I'm getting as I write. I am a believer in signs and fate and all that good stuff. So, for me, the symbolism being played out by the number "3" is a motivator. It led me to this...

No Regrets...

I see surveys on MySpace all of the time asking questions like, "What are you wearing today?" or "What's your favorite food?" Today, I actually saw something on there that made me think. Generally, I don't do regrets. I'm not the type of person who sits and thinks about what I should have done. I take all of my mistakes as indicators of effort and of lessons in how I should approach the issue the next time around. This question, however, made me think back to a time in my life that was a little difficult to recall. The question was "If you could relive one day in your life, what day would it be and why?" This one was difficult for me because there is actually one day in my life when a decision I made was rather pivotal. I'm not really able to discuss the particulars here, but I got to thinking about all of the ripple effects from that one set of decisions and it was a little depressing.

For a moment, I felt bad. I started thinking about missed opportunities and the things I put myself through as a result of that one decision. But then I remembered that everything I have done has led up to this moment. If I had taken a different path, I might not have ended up here with a husband and daughter whom I could not live without. I might not have ended up here, talking to you about the things that I find interesting. I might not have ever finished writing one book, much less two and I certainly might not have finished college. I hadn't realized that so many "mistakes" could bring you to a place where you are content. My point is this: Don't waste your time with regrets. They only serve to make you discount the achievements you have had in your life. Regrets do not allow you to understand the moves you have made, they only serve to blind you to your strengths. Don't look back on what you have or haven't done with regret. Look forward to what you can do with a sense of hope.

Until next time...

Today's Question

I guess that would be, "What exactly is today's question?" Things seem so blah these days that I have little inspiration to write. I don't want to focus on the negative, so I've been keeping alot to myself these days. Other than the occasional MySpace survey, I haven't been sharing much. So, I guess I will take this opportunity to do a little sharing whether or not I really feel like it. In a couple of weeks, I'll be coming up on the anniversary of a nasty injury that kept me sidelined for much of September, October and part of November last year.

Last September, I had a heart cath done as a precautionary measure. I had been feeling alot of pain and was certain that I was going to have a heart attack. Thankfully, they found nothing to show that my fears were warranted. I left the hospital after several hours and came home feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. About twenty-four hours later, I started having pain in my leg. I told myself it was just some residual pain that would go away with time. As it turned out, the pain stayed and I went back to the hospital to have them check it out. They told me that it was nothing and even said, "Go home and take some Ibuprofen, you'll be fine."

I did as I was told. I came back home, I took the Ibuprofen, I laid down. About six hours later, I thought I was going to die. My leg felt like it was going to explode. It had swollen up to about three times its usual size and I was hurting. By the time I got to the hospital, I was in so much pain, I couldn't think. They ended up having to give me two units of blood and I was in the hospital for three days. I had bled out from the procedure and had lost about a third of my blood. All of which had settled in my poor, swollen leg. It took me about three months to be able to walk without pain. I still have some pain from time to time, but for the most part it is back to normal.

As I sit here today, I think about how lucky I am that things are actually back to normal and that I can sit comfortable at this computer and write this piece today. Although it may not seem relevant to whatever is happening in the world today, the experience really put some things into perspective for me. Aside from scaring the hell out of me, it made me realize that sometimes if you don't slow down, God will reach into your life and slow you down. I'm not an overly religious person, but I do believe in God. Had it not been for His intervention, I would never have made it through and had the appreciation I have for simply taking my time. So, as you flip through the channels today or page through the newspaper, try not to be too discouraged by what you see. Take some time to think about how you got here and what you want to do with your time and don't forget to take it easy when you need to. It will all still be here tomorrow.

Have a great day!