Thanks for stopping by! This is the official blog for the Rona Shively Stories Mystery Series. Check in for details on upcoming Rona Shively Stories and other events! Watch Rona's transformation as she tackles life head on, now armed with newly found faith and the knowledge that she is not actually in control of anything. Finally, it is all starting to make sense.

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You like square whats?

I am a big fan of Spongebob Squarepants. Any mother of a five-year old is most likely aware of his existence in the everyday life of their child. What I am not a fan of, however, is the use of Spongebob to promote a song that really has nothing to do with children. My daughter, who is five, is not even allowed to listen to this Sir Mix-a-lot song, so imagine my dismay when I looked around at the television to find the big butts song pushing kid's meals. My daughter loves the Burger King kid's meal. How long will it be before she is going around the house singing, "I like square butts and I cannot lie..."?

Is this something that should disturb me? Well, sure it is. For one thing, I don't want her listening to any music that objectifies women. I don't feel that this music does much to further our (women's)cause and I don't feel like children have enough life experience and context to understand the music before the words become engrained on their little psyches. So, long before they understand what it means to "like big butts," they are convinced that they already do.

For another thing, can't Burger King find a better way to lure children into their restaurants than to substitute their own lyrics to a raunchy adult song like this one? I mean, isn't this kind of a cheap tactic to employ? Sure, some parents out there might think the song is funny. I even think the song is a little catchy if you don't listen too closely while you have your brain engaged. But when I really listen to it, I'm somewhat offended and it takes alot to offend me.

I'm not sure how much lower we can sink as a nation if we are going to start marketing to our children through means such as these. What's next, are they going to try to sell dinosaur toys using a cleaned up version of 2 Live Crew's big hit, Me So Horny? Tacky, isn't it? For now, I think we'll give BK a rest and start taking our kid's meal business to McDonald's.

Until next time...

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Writing patiently...

I used to get so worried when I wasn't writing every day. I had books in my head and ideas scribbled all over the place, but I was making no concentrated effort to organize these thoughts. After writing the third book in the Rona Shively series, Keeping the Faith, I realized that it was the waiting and hanging back that helped make the book into something that I am very proud to have written. If I had rushed through it, I never would have developed the story the way I needed to and I certainly wouldn't have reached novel-length without pulling all of my hair out.

They say that slow and steady wins the race. I have to agree with that. I've never been a patient person and once I started writing, I learned quickly that if I am not patient, I will not accomplish what I want to accomplish. If I rush through writing a story, it won't be any good. If I rush through doing updates to my web pages, I'll forget something or make a big mistake somewhere along the way. If I rush through my interactions with others, I'll miss some valuable piece of information or advice that I might need later on. So, writing and the business of writing has been teaching me patience, slowly, but surely.

What this means to me is that I see things happening much more clearly. When I do accomplish a goal, it is because I have taken all of the necessary steps to do so. I haven't taken any shortcuts. And it seems like the more I back off of things and let them happen as they are supposed to, the more I accomplish. I'm very happy with the way things have been going and I know that even though it is taking me a while to get back into my writing groove, the day will come when I can sit at my keyboard and finish that fourth book in my mystery series. The day will come when I have the finished Women's Self-Esteem book in my hands. I just need to make sure that I am letting things happen the way they should and not rushing to be finished.

For me, the last three years have been amazing in terms of my writing career. Although I'm not a bestseller...yet, I have met so many wonderful people and learned so much about myself and how my world works. My writing has improved over time and I find that I am giving myself more time to recharge in between projects than I did when I started on this journey. That is so unlike me. I'm still anxious to see what else I will learn, but the difference is that now I'm willing to take the time and let that knowledge make its way to me instead of hunting it down and clubbing it over the head.

How do you pace yourself and your writing? What lessons have you learned about writing patiently?

Until next time...


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Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Best Advice I Ever Got...

came from the book, The Right to Write by Julia Cameron. In her book, she said, "Put the drama on the page..." or something along those lines. No matter how it was phrased, it works. She was referring to channeling your emotional energy into writing and not letting everyday drama bog you down. When I read this, I thought, "Wow, that makes sense!" Why hadn't I thought of that before? Well, probably because I've been hip-deep in drama my entire life and it never occurred to me that I didn't have to be until recently. All this time, I had loads of material just waiting to become a bestselling novel. Well...maybe just a widely read short story...or...poem...ok, a haiku???

In any case, I've struggled with various issues over the years; some of them not so pretty. But once they were written down, they didn't seem so daunting and I was able to get through them. Not exactly journalling, just processing what is going on around me through the written word has been an invaluable tool for coping with day to day stress and anxiety. For example, when I miscarried last year for the fifth time, I wrote an article called, "Empty." This article was meant to be a way of processing my pain and helping me to understand my feelings. It did just that and as an added bonus, it ended up being published by Alive Magazine earlier this year. It's coming up on a year since the loss and truthfully, I feel that the article gave me a sense of closure on the matter and it isn't as painful to discuss or even think about as it was before I wrote about it.

Some things have been bogging me down lately and I have a suspicion that this is because I haven't taken enough time to write down my feelings about what has been going on in my life. When I write, I somehow transfer all of that emotional energy onto the page and it doesn't seem so overwhelming as it did floating around in my head. I can always tell when I haven't been writing enough, too, because I feel edgy and disconnected from myself.

For those of you who write, does your writing help you to cope with the stress in your life? Do you find it therapeutic beyond the sense of accomplishment you get from simply getting your ideas out? Or is it just me? :)

I don't know about you, but I certainly feel better just having written this post.

Until next time...


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Sunday, March 22, 2009

FOX News needs a spanking...

for reporting this morning that spankings actually make children more aggressive. I can't see how that's possible unless parents are just hitting their children without doing any other parenting whatsoever. Sure, if all you do is swat your kid and you never talk to them or explain rules or expectations to them, they might grow up hating you and not understanding why you are so mean. But if you are a parent who takes time to talk with your child about things and you find it necessary to spank them for bad behavior every once in a while, I don't see that having any negative ramifications. As a matter of fact, I think that's part of what kids are missing these days. They don't seem to be as weary of punishment as they used to be and I think it is because so many parents started listening to the findings of studies like these.

Ladies and gentlemen, just because a group gets together and researches something, that doesn't make them experts on the matter. It just means they know more about the issue than they did before the study. Parents who are actually trying to parent their children are the real experts on this issue. You know the right way to handle your child. You know when you are being unfair and when you might have taken your punishment of their behavior a bit too far. At least if you're like me, you feel guilty for yelling or losing your temper even when your child has been steadily stomping on your last frayed nerve for the past twelve hours and you've been as patient as patient can be.

My thought is this, we need to stop spending so much time and energy worrying that we shouldn't be asserting ourselves as parents for fear that they will hate us. Your children are going to hate you for one thing or another anyway if you're doing your job right. We need to spend less time justifying our lack of commitment to being the stern disciplinarians our children need and start finding ways to clean up our society. I have a few suggestions: Take those damned horror movie trailors off of the television that show terrible images to our children before we have a chance to turn the channel, take those horrible "booty" songs off the radio so that our five year-olds aren't singing about Apple Bottom jeans, and for God's sake can we drop all of the ads for male enhancement drugs and medication for depression? This shit doesn't need to be in our heads all of the time. If it bothers me, I know it confuses the hell out of my daughter. While I know that it is my responsibility to monitor what she's watching and hearing, they sneak some of these things by so quickly that you don't have a chance to shield your child from it.

I'm not saying that the fault lies entirely with the media or with television or radio, but they don't make things any better by not being responsible about what they put on the air. Just because they get a press release or they hear about some new fad, they automatically think it needs to go out into everyone's homes. I don't even think they screen this stuff anymore. News media makes their living by perpetuating our fears with reports like today's big spanking news. This is bullshit. Parents are already confused enough without FOX News laying a guilt trip on them.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable in wanting a news broadcast to report things that are actually useful to me. Telling me something that I know isn't true just isn't useful. It is downright enfuriating. My husband watches FOX News every morning and I've been trying to understand why. Perhaps he is oblivious to the crap they are throwing out and just needs background noise to accompany his morning coffee. I guess they're good for that.

Until next time...


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A Little Bit of Mystery: Short Mysteries to Confuse and Amuse

Where I've Been...

Listen to my interview on the Jeffery S. Miller show.

Listen to my interview on Calling All Authors.

Listen to my interview on the Let's Just Talk w/Kathryn Raaker.

Listen to my interview on Radio Free Baxter.

Where I'll Be...

After a short break in the summer, I'll be at the following locations:

8/11/09 Allen Park Public Library, Allen Park, MI 6:30 p.m.

Looking for something entertaining for your library or bookstore patrons? Looking for a fun way to spend a couple of hours? Do you love mysteries? Then you need to schedule a Tea & Mystery event for your library or bookstore! The fee is minimal and the presentation is fun and informative! Attendees will be given the chance to win great prizes and share their thoughts about the mystery genre and their favorite mystery writers!

E-mail me today at lonestoryteller@yahoo.com for details on how to set up your Tea & Mystery event!

Books by Rebecca Benston

Reviews for Rebecca Benston

“You'll find yourself looking forward to more stories from the files of Rona Shively.”

Michelle Shealy, Reviewer for MyShelf.com

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“Rebecca Benston has written a detective with plenty of suspense…I hope there will be a sequel…”

Annick, Reviewer for Euro-Reviews

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“The story is good, the plotting great. Rebecca Benston draws you into the story from the first page. Read the book.”

Lucille P. Robinson, An Alternative Read

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“Rebecca Benston’s twists, turns, and descriptions are utterly engaging.”

Tracy, Fallen Angel Reviews

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“In The Wash is like a 1930’s film noir detective story that had a modern, edgy twist and a female lead.”

Janet Davies, Once Upon a Romance Reviews

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“Under Lock and Key is an enjoyable, fun book! Rona Shively is a delightful character. I loved her off-beat, quirky personality and her outstanding sense of humor.”

Connie Harris, MyShelf.com

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“Talented author Rebecca Benston shows the reader just how complicated life can get suddenly and how people you thought you knew, aren't who you thought they were.”

Anne K. Edwards, Mysteryfiction.net